


Fall Back (Into My Arms)

by Anonymous



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blackcest (Harry Potter), Brainwashing, Dark Hermione Granger, Dubious Consent, Dubious Morality, F/F, Memory Alteration, Mind Manipulation, Multi, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:14:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27782056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Hermione has a plan to reunite the Black sisters, whether Andromeda wants to or not.Don't worry, though. She will.
Relationships: Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Andromeda Black Tonks, Hermione Granger/Andromeda Black Tonks, Hermione Granger/Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Hermione Granger/Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Narcissa Black Malfoy/Andromeda Black Tonks
Comments: 40
Kudos: 153
Collections: anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work will be explicit, but it is not yet. It will deal with dark themes including memory alteration, dubious/non-consent, brainwashing, and some elements of corruption. Hermione is very morally ambiguous. I wouldn't call her _dark_ because she isn't a murderer and wants good things for people, but she also doesn't care if other people agree with what she thinks of as _good things_.

"Hermione! What a surprise." The door, which had only cracked open warily at first, now swung open. Hermione smiled warmly at the other witch, reaching out to offer her the gift she'd brought. 

"Hello, Mrs. Tonks. I'm sorry I didn't floo ahead, but I brought a bottle of wine to make up for just showing up on your doorstep." 

"Call me Andi, Hermione. Or Andromeda, if you must. We fought a war together, I think we can be a little less formal." Andromeda Tonks took the bottle of wine, glancing over the label before pausing and doing a double take. "Fawley Reserve? Now I'm concerned. Have you come with very bad news or are you trying to ask me for a very big favor?"

Hermione took off her coat and hung it on the rack near the door. "The latter. I hope you don't see it as bad news, however." She smiled reassuringly at the look Andromeda shot her, then waved her hand towards the rest of the house. "Let's just catch up for a bit. I've been so caught up in work that I don't know what is going on with anyone and it really is a great vintage."

They settled in the sunroom, taking advantage of the late afternoon sunlight warming the small space. Andromeda brought out a small tray of meats and cheeses, ever the hostess even without a team of house elves, and poured them both glasses. Andromeda sipped, closing her eyes for a moment to savor it. 

It had been a long time since she'd had anything of this quality. Ted had been more of a beer person and she would never spend that much on wine just for herself. The last time had probably been... Bella's engagement party. The three Black sisters sneaking away with a few bottles of the good stuff and pretending that their worlds weren't about to change irrevocably.

She shook her head and when she opened her eyes again, Hermione was staring at her intently. Andromeda's lips quirked, refusing to be embarrassed by either her actions or the attention, and she settled more comfortably in her chair without letting go of her glass.

"So, you really want to start with small talk when you've brought me a 100 galleon bottle of wine to butter me up?"

"I thought I'd let the wine work on you a bit first," Hermione responded dryly.

Andromeda couldn't help but let out a small laugh at the quip. "Fair enough. So tell me what work you've been up to that's been keeping you away from everyone. I haven't seen you at any Weasley functions and I know Harry has been missing you."

Hermione looked down at her wine glass, swirling the liquid gently. Andromeda watched her. She didn't look as if she were losing sleep or weight, so she probably shouldn't be worried about the young woman, but there was something in her expression that piqued her concern. Or maybe it was just her presence here at all, with this excellent bottle of wine. Andromeda took another sip.

"I have my doubts about Harry missing me," Hermione finally responded, looking up with a smile that seemed to be genuine. "He has his hands full with the wedding preparations, doesn't he? Plus, I know that now that Tonks has gone back to work he takes his role as Teddy's godfather seriously. You must be grateful for the breaks."

Andromeda hummed thoughtfully, smiling at the thought of her grandson. "Teddy can be quite the handful, true. Harry has been a great help for us. That doesn't mean he hasn't noticed your absence, however. Nor did I miss the way you didn't answer my question." Andromeda stared at Hermione, raising her brow when the younger woman met her gaze without any change of expression or embarrassment at being caught out. She ran her tongue along the backs of her teeth, trying to decide what it was about Hermione that was throwing her off. 

She and Hermione had never been close but they'd been friendly, getting to know each other through Order meetings and more informal gatherings to try to find something good to focus on in the middle of the war. Before everything really went to pot. Before Hermione and the two boys had gone off on their own crucial mission for the cause. Before Andromeda had lost her husband. Before Hermione had been kept captive by Andromeda's estranged sisters. Before the young girl had come back as a woman, still brave, still determined, but somehow separate.

Somehow disconnected from the rest of them, even as she fought in the final battle, helped the wounded, and worked to rebuild Hogwarts.

"I'm not sure I've even heard from Harry what it is you've been doing," Andromeda continued when it was clear that Hermione wasn't going to respond without more prompting. "I think I always assumed it was something for the Ministry. I can't imagine them not snatching you up, not with all you could do for them."

Hermione's smile this time was something smaller, more secretive. She ran her finger around the lip of her wine glass and Andromeda found her gaze drawn there. Watching that slim digit slip along the glass rim in lazy circles. Andromeda blinked, only distracted when Hermione finally spoke. "They did try," she said softly. "I received offers from quite a few departments, actually. But I couldn't see myself working there, not as it is, anyway. They're trying to rebuild, but they're trying to rebuild it as it was, pretending that all the fault for its fall was due to Voldemort and not the system that failed people and allowed someone like Voldemort to even gain an audience in the first place." She gave a soft sigh, running a hand through her hair and shaking her head. "I know you're not blind to it all, Andi. You know there have been problems that have nothing at all to do with the purebloods and their refusal to accept that they're no longer the only ones with power." 

Andromeda blinked as Hermione turned the attention back to her. She did know that the rise of Voldemort and his platform hadn't existed in a vacuum. In fact, she had been uniquely positioned as a daughter of the Sacred 28 who had then been cast out of that circle and seen what life was like for the rest of them. The Ministry hadn't served anyone but it's own interests since before Andromeda had been alive. Voldemort's honeyed words had impacted more than just the rich. It had gained traction with the outcasts and destitute as well. Those who the Ministry ignored or shunned outright. If it had only been the purebloods, they wouldn't have had the numbers to really make a difference. 

Andromeda knew all of this but she wasn't entirely sure why Hermione was making it a point to say so. Actually, she wasn't entirely sure what Hermione's point was at all. The wine seemed to be doing its job of making her fuzzy along the edges and she wasn't sure that an intellectual discussion was really the best idea right now. She opened her mouth-- to say what, exactly, she wasnt sure-- only to be interrupted by Hermione.

"Nevermind. That's not something for you to worry about right now. Take another sip, Andi," Hermione said. It was a curious tone. Almost an order, but like one might give a beloved child they wanted to distract from asking questions. Andromeda felt that maybe she should be offended by that, but instead she simply obeyed, taking another sip of the decadent wine. This one seemed even more heady than the ones before, and Andromeda took in a sharp breath, suddenly feeling off balance. 

Something was wrong here, wasn't it? Something was wrong with the way Hermione had spoken to her. With the way her gaze was drawn to Hermione's finger dancing around the rim of her still-full glass of wine. Something was...

Hermione shifted, reaching out and gently taking Andromeda's glass from her hand and replacing it with her own. "There you go. It's delicious, isn't it? I had some myself a few weeks ago. Not this bottle, of course." She talked as if not expecting a response from Andromeda at all, and Andromeda might have been more bothered by that if she wasn't feeling curiously heavy. Her limbs were heavy. Her tongue was heavy. Her thoughts were heavy and so very slow. Hermione gently helped her tip the glass to her lips, and she took another sip of the wine, feeling it slide warmly down her throat and adding even more weight to her lethargic body. "No," Hermione continued, her voice soft and caring even as Andromeda was sure there was something very wrong here. If only she could get herself to focus. To think. To blink. "This bottle was just for you. Narcissa was sure that you wouldn't be able to refuse it."

That name allowed her a brief moment of action. A sharp inhale, an attempt to push the glass away. Hermione was insistent, however, and the glass remained in her hand, just below her nose, the fragrant bouquet intoxicating on its own. She opened her mouth with effort, tongue almost refusing to cooperate. "... Cissy?" It came out as a slur, a plea. Her sister? Her sister who was under house arrest after the war? Who had allowed Voldemort to live within her home and had enabled their violent and fanatical older sister?

What was Hermione doing getting wine from her sister? What was Hermione doing talking to her at all? Hadn't she been her captive?

Andromeda's mind spun, and she didn't resist as Hermione pressed the glass to her lips again. The wine went down just as sinisterly smooth as all the sips before it. Andromeda slumped gently back against her chair, far too heavy to sit up properly anymore. Hermione finally took the glass away and set it down on the table. 

"Yes, Andi." Hermione reached out, tenderly brushing Andromeda's hair out of her face. Andromeda stared up at her dazedly, helplessly. "Your sisters miss you, you know? They tell me every day." Andromeda blinked, her brow furrowing in disbelief, although she couldn't manage much else. The wine was slipping through her now, dragging her further into the chair she was sitting on. Putting anchors on her thoughts, so heavy that she couldn't hold onto them. She could only watch, eyelids threatening to fall shut as well. "No, no, not in so many words. They're stubborn that way. I'm sure you remember. They can't admit that they were wrong. That they shouldn't have sent you away. That you were more important than even the indoctrination your parents put you through."

Finally, Andromeda couldn't keep her eyes open any longer. They slid shut slowly but with finality, and she knew that she didn't have the strength to open them again on her own. Instead, she could only breathe at the feeling of the younger woman's lips brushing tenderly against her forehead. Her body managed a shiver at the curiously intimate touch. Part of her wanted to wrench away, but it was growing small. So small. Most of her was desperate for that touch, that kindness, that care. She couldn't even hold onto her own thoughts, but she grasped tight to that soft touch and held onto it while the rest of her world faded.

"They talk about you often, Andi. More than they think they do." Hermione's voice continued, following her into the darkness. "And I promised myself I'd make them happy and bring you back for their sakes. But I'll admit..." Another soft touch, this one against her lips. The barest hint of warmth. "Their stories made me want to bring you back for me, as well." Andromeda whimpered softly, making one last effort to wake, to move. To pull away? To escape? Or simply to make her own lips respond to the gentle pressure and wisp of warm breath? "Sleep, Andi. I'll take care of you." Andromeda sunk deeper into herself and the blackness enveloped her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Added a tag for the incest. It's still very tame, but if you didn't sign up for that then here's your warning! I would say it's implied with the group tag but not everyone feels that way and that's okay.

Andromeda surfaced slowly to the sound of humming. Her mind was still too heavy to grasp, thoughts appearing only to immediately disappear, and so she contented herself with the soft music wrapping around her. It was a hopeful melody, someone happy with their work. Andromeda let out a sigh and the humming paused.

"Hello, Andi." There was something familiar about the voice and she knew that she should recognize it, but even that thought dropped away before she could latch onto it. Instead, she could only feel that the voice was soft and pleasant. Nice to listen to, especially in this darkness. "I'm just finishing up some preparations. I need to make sure that I'll be protected while we do this." There were gentle fingers in her hair, sliding against her scalp. It tingled pleasantly, and Andromeda sighed again. "That way I can guide you without getting lost myself. I promise that I've researched this extensively. I wouldn't risk you if I wasn't confident."

The hand retracted again and the humming returned. Andromeda floated in the darkness, unable to do much of anything. She could feel the coldness of a heavy table or floor beneath her. The air was still, the temperature comfortable. 

"I would explain the process," the voice said again, this time from somewhere near her feet. "But it's actually better if you're unaware. Less chance of resistance that way. Not that you want to resist, do you, Andi?" Something fluttered in Andromeda's mind. A thought. Hot and sharp and pushing to escape her mouth as words. The darkness pulsed cold and heavy around her again and the thought sunk, like all the other thoughts. Like her body, which relaxed bonelessly against the surface she was laying on once more. Andromeda hadn't even been aware that she'd tensed. 

"Ah..." A hand stroked up and down her shin and ankle, giving the fleeting realization that her socks and pants had been removed. The thought dissolved as the gentle touch continued, her attention focused entirely on the feeling. Up and down, up and down. Curling around her ankle to rub soft circles with her thumb. Abruptly, the touch was gone again and Andromeda let out a soft noise of distress. Adrift in a sea of blackness once more. 

"Shh. You're alright. It's alright, Andi." The touch returned long enough for her to calm. "You're not fighting it, are you? You're just scared. There's no need to be, though. I promised I'd take care of you, and I will. It'll all be better soon. Just a few more runes." 

The humming started again. Something soft and soothing. A nursery rhyme? It continued for minutes, seconds, hours. Andromeda had no sense of time in the blackness, but she let herself sink back down, content enough to rest while the voice was there to keep her company. 

The humming stopped once more and Andromeda felt a hand curled against her cheek. Her eyelids fluttered at the touch but were too heavy to raise. "Open your mouth for me. You can do it." The words bounced around in her empty head for long enough that she almost lost them. Eventually they made sense once more and Andromeda felt the need to do what the voice said. Not just the need. A desire that grew warmer and stronger. She wanted to please the voice that kept her company in the darkness. She wanted to do what it asked her to. But her body was so hard to connect to. So hard to move. She felt as if she were a passenger here and she didn't know the controls. 

Her mouth. It was near the cheek that was being touched. She could feel that and from there feel her lips, feel her jaw. It felt like she was pushing up against an ocean of pressure, but slowly, finally, her lips parted. A soft finger traced her bottom lip as a reward, encouraging her to open further. Andromeda let out a warm puff of air and obeyed.

"That's it, Andi. Very good. Just a little more wine before we begin. We need to keep you open and pliant. And it tastes so good, doesn't it? Not a burden at all to just let it trickle past your lips and down your throat."

True to her words, a small trickle of wine splashed onto Andromeda's tongue. It was still so sweet, so smooth, even now. Even with her mind and body like molasses, she was able to savor this taste. It was an important taste. It meant something to her. Something she didn't remember right now but that was alright. She didn't need to remember, only to swallow, and she did. When it was gone, the hand helped her close her mouth again with a soft nudge, caressing her cheek like she was something precious.

She wanted to lean into it, but she hadn't been told to and without the desire to please the voice she didn't have the will to move on her own. She laid still instead and hoped the touch would never leave.

"You're so beautiful like this. A still lake before the ripples." The hand stroked her face, tracing lightly along her cheeks, her brow line. "For a while, I thought that you looked so much like Bella. That maybe I could be satisfied with a piece of her and still be the old me." The words passed through Andromeda untouched, unremarked. They might as well have been another language entirely. The only thing that mattered was that the voice was speaking to her and still caressing her. She was still grounded and warm. 

"That was never going to work, though. The old me would have never approached you, for one. And for another, you deserve to be more than just a substitute for your sister." The hand stroking her face slid down to caress the side of her neck, her shoulders, her collarbone. Everywhere the touch went tingles followed. Warmth. Bringing her hollow body back to life. "Bellatrix is beautiful but life has made her sharp. Yours is a different kind of beauty. Refined but warm in a way Narcissa rarely is. I wonder if your husband ever truly appreciated what a treasure he had." The touch teased along the tops of her breasts but for some reason chose to remain there, remain chaste. Andromeda heard a long, slow intake of breath, and then the touch pulled away, leaving her bereft once more. 

This time she didn't have the strength to complain. She remained still, goosebumps raised everywhere the voice had touched.

"I wish this could have happened more organically," the voice confessed. "But in the end you'll all be happy. That's what matters." 

There was silence for a moment. For an eon. Andromeda drifted in the void the wine had left her in. When the voice spoke again it was in words Andromeda had never heard before, wouldn't have recognized even with all her faculties in order. An energy rose up around her, tickling at her extremities, her toes, her fingers, crackling almost audibly. It trailed up, up, through her skin and muscles and blood and straight to her brain, filling the empty cavern of her mind with a rosy haze of power. Andromeda's eyes flickered behind her eyelids, her body tensing and relaxing again as the unfamiliar energy filled her up.

In her mind, the vast emptiness filled. Like a sunrise coming into focus. She could almost hold onto thoughts, feelings; almost see images, people, events. But they were just out of phase, undirected. A television flickering between channels. 

Then she became aware that she was no longer alone. There was another presence in her mind. Though she couldn't see her, she could feel her, pressed up against her, making the space almost too cramped. The presence seemed to stretch, testing out the limits of its new space, and Andromeda moaned softly in protest.

A chuckle that was not her own touched her thoughts. "It's just me, Andi. Hermione. I won't stay longer than I have to, but we have quite a lot of work to do."

Andromeda's own thoughts still refused to materialize properly, rising and then fading away. She couldn't respond with anything more than the vague impression of a question and a hint of fear.

"It's best if I don't explain, remember? You can trust me." A feeling of warmth radiated from Hermione's presence, and Andromeda was unable to do anything but bask in it, letting it wash over her and take away the fear. "Now, how about we start from somewhere near the beginning? Before everything went wrong. Can you show me a time when you and your sisters were happy?"

The haze that filled her mind responded with no direction from Andromeda. It flickered and then solidified, bringing an image into focus. Slowly, the surroundings cleared, shaping into the familiar view of the Slytherin common room. Then, a figure on the couch. Narcissa. Young and starting to fully come into her beauty, reading a textbook. Bellatrix flowed into the scene from the open doorway. She looked at Narcissa, then passed her, those dark eyes latching onto something deep within Andromeda's soul like they always did.

With that, the room was no longer hazy. Andromeda didn't feel heavy at all. She was 16 years old, sitting in a chair next to the crackling fireplace, working on her Charms essay. Her mind still felt a little too full, but despite the fact that the deadline for this essay was looming, everything else felt right. Calm. Happy. 

The look Bellatrix gave her sent a thrill through her. Fondness and mischief. Heat. The promise of something more. She walked closer to her, keeping their gazes locked right up to the point that she reached down and plucked Andromeda's unfinished essay from her hands. 

"Charms? And you haven't asked me for help? You know how good I am at Charms." Bellatrix's voice was a warm purr, teasing. Andromeda shivered, captivated by it. Bella had always had a pull on her but this was more, as if she were starving and suddenly here was a feast. She couldn't look away, could only gape at her sister in adoration.

There was a hum of appreciation in the back of her mind and Andromeda suddenly felt shame at her feelings. Guilt. She shouldn't feel this way, knew that it was wrong. She'd moved past this long ago.

_"Shh, Andi. Don't be ashamed of this. Not at all, and especially not with me."_

Andromeda felt a burst of warmth buoy her, banishing the shame. She tried to hold onto it. Despite the pain, it was hers, her feelings, but it slipped from her like sand, and Andromeda was left only with adoration once more. 

Bellatrix still stood before her, and Andromeda reached out for her wrist instead of the paper. She tugged, bringing her sister closer and into the space between her open legs. "In case you don't remember, I receive regular O's in Charms as well." The unexpected move loosened Bellatrix's hold on the parchment and Andromeda stole it back with her free hand, setting it to the side. 

"Do you?" Her sister asked in mock surprise. There was a delighted sparkle in her eyes at Andromeda's boldness, and Andromeda herself wasn't sure where the inspiration had come from, but that look was all she needed to continue. "I might need a demonstration as proof."

"Some people are trying to study, you know. In this public space. Where people are focused." Andromeda looked over Bellatrix's shoulder to her younger sister, who was studiously not looking at them.

Bellatrix laughed, wrapping an arm around Andromeda's shoulders as she turned to take in Narcissa. "Someone sounds jealous. Do you need some attention? Andi, _accio_ Cissy over here as well and then I'll believe you're a Charms master." She dropped casually into Andromeda's lap, patting her own thigh as an invitation. "Right here. There's plenty of room."

Andromeda flushed, feeling the warmth of Bellatrix everywhere their bodies pressed together. She tried to push down her immediate instinct to get overwhelmed. It wasn't as if this was that unusual from Bellatrix, even for the public space. She was a very touchy person, always tugging her along, tapping her for attention, or guiding her with a hand. She just normally wasn't literally on top of her, her hand caressing the hairs at the back of her neck. Andromeda shivered.

Narcissa was looking at them now, a dusting of pink across her pale cheeks, her mouth half-open in a very unladylike manner. 

Bellatrix was looking at their younger sister, challenging her, but the way her fingers teased at Andromeda's neck made her feel as if that smug smirk on her face was purely for her benefit.

It was unfairly attractive. 

The chuckle in the back of her mind agreed. _"You miss this, don't you, Andi? Having her attention? Both of them looking at you that way?"_

The part of Andromeda that wasn't 16 anymore, that had lived this moment two lifetimes ago and knew what happened all too soon after this trembled gently. Quaked. 

She was over this. This was a dream. An unreality. A game they had played as children, making promises they couldn't keep. 

Her hands clutched at this younger form of her sister, feeling how alive and vibrant she was. How whole they had all been. The dream turned to look at her, raising a curious brow. Andromeda took in her lustrous black curls, the fullness of her lips, the angles that had not yet been made sharp.

"You looked flushed, Andi. Is the homework frustrating you that much? Or is it something else?"

That smirk. That coy smirk. So captivating without any right to be. And in her eyes, a genuine interest. She really cared, didn't she? 

She hadn't imagined that?

It wasn't just the wishes of a lonely woman, cast away?

Andromeda tried to push this mirage away, struggling suddenly against the illusion. The world around her froze, the face in front of her flickering to someone much older, more haggard. Dark eyes sunken into her skull, staring out at her from the Daily Prophet and screaming, screaming. 

Screaming every day from the pages she couldn't throw away. Couldn't ever lose. Kept hidden in a drawer of her bedside table and taken out to torture herself with.

Bellatrix Lestrange stared at her from two feet away and screamed. 

_"No."_

A sudden warmth roared through her, embraced her, overwhelmed her. Andromeda closed her eyes and the screaming stopped. She sagged backwards like a marionette cut from its strings, and then the Slytherin common room was gone. The pressure of Bellatrix in her lap, in her arms, faded as if it had never been there. The roaring tidal wave that had sucked her in spat her back out and disappeared.

She floated once more in darkness. 

The darkness hadn't been cold before, just empty. But now, pulled away from the warmth of her sisters, she shivered. 

"Andromeda." The voice in her head sounded strained. "This is supposed to be the easy part. That was a good memory, I could clearly feel it. Why are you fighting it? It made you happy."

Thoughts rose like bubbles, briefly expanding. 

It wouldn't last. It never lasted. _Pop._

It wasn't real. Then or now. _Pop._

They left me. _Pop._

I left them. _Pop._

Those dreams are gone. _Pop._

Andromeda grimaced in the darkness, shivering once again. The thoughts didn't last long, but they built slowly into discontent. Into struggle. Into exactly what the voice had told her not to do.

It didn't matter. Andromeda was used to pain.

Another wave of warmth surged around her, dragging her back into calm lethargy. She sighed, all of the thoughts and feelings dissipating once more. 

The presence in her mind felt smaller somehow, and when it touched her thoughts, it was with some degree of hesitation. "You're stronger than anyone gives you credit for. Normally I'd be happy to have underestimated you but this serves no purpose, Andi. You're only hurting yourself. You don't have to suffer anymore. I don't know why you clutch so tightly to your pain." 

A ripple of unease ran through them both.

"We'll try something else then. Another tactic." The rosy haze returned, brightening the cavern of her mind once more. "Show me the first time you knew things were wrong. And I don't mean your misplaced shame. Show me a hurt you can't escape."

The haze shifted around them once more.


	3. Chapter 3

Andromeda resisted the shifting of her mind's eye. Resisted being dragged into another memory. She fought as a room materialized, dark wood, expensive trim. The struggle succeeded in making the image flicker wildly for a few seconds, but the room continued to come into focus. A bed with deep green, plush coverings. A window, curtains pulled back to expose the dark night and drifting snowflakes outside, fluffy and abundant.

She fought it until she could feel soft fingers in her hair, tugging loose the tangles that came with pinning her hair up. Running through the strands even when all the tangles were gone.

This is what drew her in, seduced her. A soft touch. The memory of belonging.

The room solidified.

She was 17, sitting on her bed in Black Manor. Narcissa sat behind her, lazily running her fingers through her hair. She leaned into the touch, taking in a relaxed, contented breath. 

Narcissa smelled of jasmine today. She was still experimenting with her style. This one was sweet, intoxicating, lulling Andromeda even further into a haze. Why had she moved on from this one? She couldn't remember. 

She shivered, mind briefly struggling with the disconnect, then relaxed once more.

A knock on the door. Andromeda was too relaxed in the moment to flinch and had already expected the interruption anyway. Narcissa's hands paused only momentarily before they slid down to her shoulders instead, caressing at the skin exposed by the dress their mother had insisted she wear to the party earlier. 

The door opened without invitation, admitting Bellatrix into the room. They both watched as she closed the door behind her, turning to them with eyes bright with possibility. 

The world paused for a moment. 

That look. A spark. Just a tiny flame. But she knew that look and how it would only lead to madness.

Andromeda felt herself rebelling again. She didn't want to see this. Didn't want to go through this once more.

_"Let it play out. I'm here with you. I need to know so I can fix it."_

The voice soothed her, sugary sweet with its reassurance and promises. Time resumed before Andromeda could even think to question what fixing it entailed.

"Bella, you look like you're about to burst. What did they have you stay for? Why couldn't we stay as well?" Narcissa clutched at Andromeda's shoulders almost too tightly as she spoke. They'd both been dismissed from the table as the 'adults' had moved to the parlor, Bellatrix included now. There was only so much patience they could endure. 

Bellatrix practically skipped to the bed, jumping onto it without regard for the wrinkles she'd press into her dress. Andromeda reached out once she was close enough and took her hand, playing with those long, pale fingers. The move drew a bright smile from Bellatrix, who clasped both of her hands around Andromeda's and brought them up to her mouth to kiss dramatically. "That man that Father was seated with tonight, did you hear anything of what he was saying?"

"The one who calls himself a Lord?" Andromeda asked, not bothering to hide her skepticism. He wasn't a lord that they'd ever heard of and they'd had manners and titles drilled into them since birth.

Narcissa buried her face into Andromeda's tamed curls. She could feel her shake softly with laughter, but it was better that she not mock Bellatrix's obvious new interest out loud.

"I think it's an effort to manifest it," Bellatrix said, unconcerned. She rarely cared when it came to titles, only about the power that came with them. Andromeda wished she could ignore things like that and get away with it the way Bellatrix could. "Maybe if I start calling myself Queen it'll happen." She made a dismissive gesture with one hand. "Not important. He asked me if I was interested in being a part of his inner circle." 

Andromeda made a face at that, wondering what the inner circle of a wannabe-Lord could possibly involve that would interest her sister, only to be interrupted by Bellatrix. 

"I know, I know, but hold on. Father objected, of course, being Father. He said that he's been hard at work arranging my betrothal and I would be expected to be a proper lady of the house." 

"You? A proper lady?" Narcissa propped her chin on Andromeda's shoulder, pressed up against her back. Andromeda allowed herself to rest even more fully against her, that scent of jasmine filling her head. 

Bellatrix laughed at the familiar joke, giving them both an expression that wiped her earlier excitement about her new lord right from Andromeda's mind. Devotion. That's what devotion was.

Andromeda tugged on their still joined hands and drew them into her lap.

"Father is the only one still in denial about that," Bellatrix said. "Lord Voldemort believes that I could be a valuable asset in other ways. He told Father as much. That it'd be a waste not to use my talents in pursuit of progress."

"And what progress is he in pursuit of?" Andromeda remained skeptical. The so-called Lord Voldemort had looked well enough. Attractive, for an older man. Dressed properly for those of their station. But he hadn't seemed particularly noteworthy as far as Andromeda was concerned. She'd written him off as just another man trying to get at their father's Gringotts account.

The way Bellatrix's grin sharpened, eyes once more regaining that worrisome spark of... something, however, meant that maybe she should have been paying closer attention.

"Everything, Andi. He wants to completely overhaul the Ministry. They're rubbish, we all know that. And he wants to do away with the Statute of Secrecy!"

"He wants to what?" Narcissa's voice rose in pitch incredulously, speaking the words that Andromeda was thinking as well.

"That doesn't exactly sound like a good idea, Bella."

Bellatrix scoffed, pulling her hands away from Andromeda's lap and instead using them as instruments of emphasis in her argument. Andromeda felt a stirring of something in her gut, her hands clutching at nothing for a moment before she folded them into fists.

"What good is the Statute anyway? Who is it protecting? Us? Like we have anything to fear from the mud. They might as well be cavemen. They can't hurt us and honestly their lives would be better if we took them under our wings and brought them up a bit."

Narcissa pulled back from Andromeda at this point, obviously trying to understand this newly inspired version of their sister. Andromeda wanted to clutch at her, refuse her retreat, but she didn't. She took in a deep breath and sat up straighter, meeting Bellatrix's gaze as best she could.

"Brought them up a bit? How?" 

"Well, they must have their uses. Like house elves, maybe. Except even less useful because they don't have any magic at all." Bellatrix seemed to honestly consider the question and Andromeda fought the urge to frown. She'd instantly jumped to comparing muggles to their house servants. House slaves. Except even lower than that.

"Bella, they're hardly useless. Muggles are very innovative. We can't just... enslave them. And what about muggleborns? They've got magic too. And they're good at it. The third best student in my year is a muggleborn."

There was a pause as Bellatrix stared at her, dark eyes considering. Andromeda wasn't sure what was passing through her mind. Normally she knew Bellatrix. Knew her almost better than she knew herself. But she hadn't heard her rant about muggles since they were old enough to have conversations outside of their father's earshot. 

A chilling thought occurred to her that maybe she just wasn't having those conversations with her.

_"Is this when it happened?"_

Andromeda's chest tightened in despair. The voice reminding her with sudden clarity that she knew exactly what kind of conversations Bellatrix had been having without her. 

The world flickered around them, pausing, and Andromeda reached up to clutch at her head. It felt heavy again. She was somehow both 17 and 47 and it felt as if it might tear her apart. She forced herself to focus, desperately getting the words out. "Please. I don't want to do this."

_"What did she do, Andi? Tell me."_

The words came easier now, spilling out of her mouth as if all she needed was the command. "I didn't know she'd been spending time with the Lestrange brothers. I didn't know. They were just quidditch teammates. They weren't supposed to be making her agree with Father."

_"What did she do to you?"_

Andromeda clenched her fists around her hair, eyes closed tightly. "Nothing. Not this time. Is that what you want? To know how pathetic I am about nothing?" The room flickered around them again. "She just... she told me she was disappointed in me. Gave me a whole rant about blood purity and how I should know better. She left. And Cissy went with her. It was the beginning. You asked for the beginning."

_"You're not pathetic. Hush, Andi. Hush, it's alright. You just overreacted. We can fix that."_

Another wave of warmth enveloped her, pulling her hands away from her head, gently placing her back in her position on the bed. The pressure in her head eased, but she still felt weighted down.

_"Bellatrix has always jumped head first and managed to find a place to land, but you and Narcissa were more cautious. You waited and watched and thought things through, but where you decided you didn't like what you saw and rebelled eventually, Cissa saw what happened to you and bided her time."_

The warmth brushed against her brow, a pair of lips against her skin. Andromeda shuddered, held tightly within whatever spell Hermione had weaved. 

_"You were careful, weren't you, Andi? You knew how to blend in, keep your thoughts to yourself. But your sisters were your weakness. The key to your soft heart and what you thought was your safe place."_ The voice sighed. _"_ _You forgot that Bellatrix wasn't only yours. Not yet. That other people could sneak in and whisper in her ear when you weren't looking."_

There was a minute, an hour, of silence and then the voice hummed in consideration.

_"But you are a Slytherin. Maybe you forgot that, surrounded by Hufflepuffs and people who wanted to keep you soft. Let's just... tweak that."_

Like a flip had been switched, Andromeda gasped, her whole body tensing. Something was moving around in her head. Something was skittering, shifting. She whimpered. It itched, bordering on pain.

I don't want this.

I don't... Hermione, please...

_Pop._

Her eyes opened.

"Well, they must have their uses. Like house elves, maybe. Except even less useful because they don't have any magic at all." Bellatrix said, tapping her finger against her chin. 

Andromeda stared at her. Blinked. Her head felt off in some indefinable way. She scanned the room carefully as if it could provide a hint to whatever had just happened. Nothing stood out, though. It was only her that had changed.

Eventually, Bellatrix noticed her distraction and leaned in, poking her gently in the forehead with her face a foot away. Andromeda shuddered at the touch, then remembered. Right, she'd been asking what Bellatrix's wannabe-Lord Voldemort was intending to do with the muggles. 

"I still don't see why it would be a good idea," Andromeda said. Her mind latched onto the nonsense that Bellatrix had spouted, wondering where it had come from. She could deal with the fact that her sister was advocating for human slavery later. Better to redirect her for now. "Like you said, they're less useful than house elves. It'd be more effort to make them useful than it would be to just leave them to their boring little lives."

Bellatrix took that in and then pouted, clearly not wanting to hear that but not really having an argument for it. Andromeda reached up and cupped her cheek, knowing that touch was a quick way to distract her sister. Especially the kinds of soft touches that she wasn't getting anywhere else.

"Besides, you remember that time you decided to kick the hornet's nest when we were little? There are so many of them. One or two is nothing, but it's not worth it to get them riled up."

"They get more protection than we do," Bellatrix grumbled, clearly not willing to let this go. She leaned into Andromeda's hand, though. "I'm sick of not being able to do magic just because the muggles could see it."

Narcissa scoffed from behind them, having apparently decided it was safe to rejoin the conversation. "You're so greedy, Bella. At least you two don't have the trace anymore."

"Listen to Cissy. How lucky you are." Andromeda teased Bellatrix, leaning in further to press her lips against her forehead. When it seemed like Bellatrix was going to complain again, Andromeda swiped her thumb over the other girl's lips and gave her a half-lidded look. Whatever Bellatrix had been about to say disappeared in a hasty intake of air. "What I'm really getting from your meeting," Andromeda said, her voice slower, more deliberate. "Is that if you help this man's quest to reform the Ministry you're not going to have to get married right after you graduate."

Bellatrix's face brightened into a slow, sly smile. "That's what he said, and Father actually seemed to listen to him."

"There's no way Father will let you just not get married," Narcissa said. She reached out and tangled her fingers in Andromeda's hair again, picking up where she'd left off. 

Bellatrix met Andromeda's gaze with dark eyes full of promise, silently kissing her thumb. They would be continuing the other conversation they were having after Narcissa was no longer in the room with them.

"Well, it's worth the risk, isn't it?" Bellatrix said, voice light when she pulled away. "To actually make a difference in the world and not become a broodmare for pureblooded scions? How can I not do everything in my power to make it happen?"

Andromeda smiled. "When you put it that way, it does seem worth considering."

The world paused. Bellatrix was smiling at her. Narcissa's jasmine perfume lingered in the air. 

_"That's better,"_ the voice said. 

The room faded once more into blackness.


	4. Chapter 4

"It felt good, didn't it?" The voice said when they were once more surrounded by darkness. Andromeda could no longer feel the surface she was laying on. The void was absolute. Just her and the voice, floating.

"No pain. Just the happy ending you deserve."

Her thoughts still remained elusive, only the stronger ones making it to the surface, but even those didn't last long. 

It's not real. _Pop._

"What is real other than what we know? Who are we other than our memories?"

A feeling of unease rose sluggishly to the surface. 

"Besides, how do you know it wasn't? Do you remember anything different happening?"

The confusion took far too much of her energy, eclipsing all other potential thoughts. The presence felt her distress and soothed her, sending out a wave of warmth.

"Shh. Don't hurt yourself. Just let yourself drift. I know that even with that little taste you still don't believe that I only want you to be happy." Andromeda felt a brush of warmth against her and couldn't help but sink into it. "We'll get there."

There was something... something about that statement. Something about being happy. Andromeda tried to focus on it and let the thought rise.

Happiness... 

Happiness?

Is that all that matters? 

_Pop._

The voice seemed distracted, however, and didn't respond. 

"We need to pick this up, though. I don't want to have to leave you here like this to recharge and get more supplies. We're already drifting from my planned schedule. You're very stubborn, you know." A pause. "I think we should deal with Ted Tonks next."

Something jumped inside her. Violently. Then faded again into the heavy darkness. The voice didn't seem to notice this either.

"If we can lessen his impact early on I think it'll cause less conflict as we go. It probably sounds bad but I'm just worried about hurting you, Andi. His influence will put a lot of strain on your mind..."

No. 

_Pop._

No, no. _Pop._

Not Ted. _Pop._

"Andi, listen to me. If we don't smooth over the conflicts you could literally break. Unrecoverable. We need to..."

Not Ted! 

No.

The thoughts didn't fade this time. They built. Quicker. Faster.

No, no, no, no, no.  
No.  
Get out.

"You won't even remember..."

No, no nO NO NO.  
Not Ted.  
You can't.  
You WON'T.   
NO.  
NO.  
NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

"STOP!"

A blast of warmth smothered the storm that had built out of control. It pushed against the endless wave of distress and sent all of it back into a box with a snap that was practically audible.

Andromeda dropped, once more, into nothingness. 

The presence flickered unsteadily inside her mind. Strained. Heaving. Panting without breath.

The silence was absolute.

After enough minutes, seconds, days in that silence, Andromeda began to regret whatever she'd done to make the voice leave her. She couldn't remember. 

She floated.

"Okay."

The voice was small. Quiet as it brushed against her thoughts. Andromeda welcomed it with a bright flicker of relief.

"Okay, we won't touch on... we won't deal with that right now. We will have to revisit this, though. I refuse to destroy you, Andi. I don't want you to be some sort of mindless drone. We need to make sure everything fits so nothing shatters."

Andromeda said nothing. Felt nothing.

The presence flickered again. "You don't understand. That's okay. This is my responsibility. I promised you I would take care of you and I will."

Warmth brushed against her again. Pressed against her from one end to another. Wrapped around her. The presence fluttered like a heartbeat shared between them and Andromeda wished she could reach out and embrace her in return.

"I brought you something that might help," the voice said. "I can make it work for this. To make him-- make this-- less important. Less necessary." There was a brief pause as the presence considered something that Andromeda could not see. "I found multiple references that discussed this working so I'm confident it's possible. Just not usually without the source of the memory involved. And not with such extensive editing, but we make do with what we have. It'll work. It will."

There was a brief pause, as if she were waiting for a response. There was none.

"Right. Of course. Everything will be fine. Enjoy the ride this time."

The world filled with static. Not rose gold like before. Gray. Gray and foggy like a winter's morning.

Things appeared in fits and starts. Suddenly, there was a vanity in the middle of the empty space. Dark mahogany and filled with expensive makeup products.

It was familiar. 

A chair appeared in front of the vanity. Built to match. It was empty but felt occupied, somehow. Something just out of phase.

"It's not too late... --di to go with us..."

Sound filtered in, crackling, breaking up. A radio in between stations. 

"I don't want to discu--"

A bed appeared. A black comforter and black silk sheets. There was a divot on one side, as if someone were sitting or leaning on it.

"-- she didn't mean it..."

Then, all at once, the room came into focus.

Bellatrix sat at the vanity, not looking any older than she had in the last memory. She stared into the mirror, pointedly not looking through the reflection to Narcissa who sat behind her on the bed. 

Narcissa was dressed in a fetching black and white dress, one Andromeda couldn't remember seeing her wear before. She sat primly, careful not to wrinkle anything, but stared at Bellatrix's reflection as if daring her to look at her.

"It's not too late to invite Andi to go with us," she said, sounding unusually forceful with Bellatrix.

Bellatrix looked down, and for a moment her face was unguarded in a way that Andromeda rarely got to see. Sadness. Uncertainty. Even a fair amount of loneliness. Her voice was gruff when she replied. "I don't want to discuss this. I told you."

"Bella, it's Andi. You know she didn't mean it the way it sounded. Refusing to talk to her is only going to make it worse."

A ripple of emotion ran across Bellatrix's face, but eventually it went carefully blank. "She's the one that needs to apologize," Bellatrix said. "If I break first she's never going to realize how serious this is."

"You know that's not how this is going to go. You're too alike that way. She's going to think there's no reason to apologize if you don't care. She'll spend more time with those half-bloods and..." Narcissa licked her lips, shaking her head forcefully. "You're going to push her away."

The world paused. Andromeda was still outside of it. She stared, as much as she could stare in this state, at Bellatrix. At the conflict on her face. At the inner turmoil she felt over this that she'd never, not once, let Andromeda see.

_"I just need to adjust it a little. We changed the catalyst, so this memory doesn't make sense as-is, but it could be..."_ The voice murmured.

Andromeda ignored it. She moved forward, closer to her older sister. She reached out without a hand, straining to connect with her. Wanting to be solid. Wishing they'd had this conversation. Wishing they hadn't been so similar and yet so different.

_"We'll say she saw you with your friends. Not T--... him. But some others. I'm sure this happened at some point anyway. Better than your misstep before. Yes. And you-- we've made some adjustments already-- you wouldn't be so brash and... Gryffindor this time."_

Her head shifted, just a bit. A ripple in her brain. Andromeda tried once more to reach out, then closed her eyes.

The world rushed around on the other side of her eyelids.

When she opened them again she was 17 and standing in front of Bellatrix's closed bedroom door. She was dressed in blue, hair pulled up, with silver jewelry for accents. Bellatrix had very deliberately not invited her to this meeting, had in fact spoken loudly where she could hear about how Andromeda didn't deserve to go if she was going to bring them all down into the mud. That wasn't going to stop her, though. Especially not after what she'd just overheard from inside the room.

One of them needed to get over their little tantrum and it wasn't her.

She knocked on the door.

There was a quick, heated whisper from the other side, and then Narcissa opened the door. She looked Andromeda up and down with a surprised and appreciative glance, then turned to Bellatrix and smirked. The look was so out of place on Narcissa's face that Andromeda almost giggled.

"I think you two need to talk," she announced, opening the door wider for Andromeda to step through. When she did, Narcissa gave her a quick hug and whispered into her ear. "She's been insufferable without you, Andi. Please fix it."

Andromeda's lips quirked into a smile and she kissed her younger sister on the cheek. "Thanks for trying."

Narcissa slipped out of the room before Bellatrix could say anything further, closing them in on her way out.

The room was quiet for a moment, Andromeda not moving any closer and Bellatrix not looking at her.

"I didn't say you could come in," Bellatrix finally said. She looked over, then paused, taking in her outfit. "Are you going out?"

"I'm going with you," Andromeda said.

"You weren't invited." 

"You can fix that."

Bellatrix scowled. "It seems like you have other people you'd rather spend time with. You're lucky I didn't tell Father. I don't think he'd be so understanding."

Andromeda took her chance to move closer, reaching out like she hadn't been able to before and running her hand along the back of Bellatrix's shoulders. Bellatrix met her gaze through the mirror, eyes dark and angry, but didn't shift away from her touch. 

"Bella, what are you really mad about?"

"You're a Black. You're better than that. Than them. You shouldn't be making friends with those lower than you."

"Do you really care who my friends are?" Andromeda asked. "You never cared before."

"I didn't know who you were--" 

"Yes, you did. It's not like we can avoid them. We're all in the same courses. There are half-bloods in Slytherin, Bella. Tell me what's different."

Bellatrix stared at her defiantly, eyes ablaze. She clenched her jaw. Andromeda placed both her hands on Bellatrix's shoulders and began to gently massage her tense muscles. 

"It's me, Bella. You know you can trust me."

Bellatrix's nostrils flared angrily. "Can I? I've heard things."

"What things?" 

"I've heard you're letting some of them get ideas about you."

Andromeda laughed. "Get ideas? You're mad because someone has a crush on me? Is that my fault?"

"Yes!" Her sister turned around now, looking at her face-to-face. "They shouldn't think you're an option. You're not available!" She blinked, realizing what she said, and shrunk back. "I mean, you're above them. You should make that clear."

Something fluttered in Andromeda's chest. She stared at Bellatrix, not saying anything. She smiled.

Bellatrix's cheeks turned pink. She turned back around and focused aggressively on her makeup products. "You shouldn't let them get ideas about you," she muttered defensively.

Andromeda let the silence continue for a long while. She resumed her gentle massage of her sister's shoulders, only speaking again once they'd slumped. "Am I?" she asked. "Unavailable?"

All she received as a response was a clenched jaw and the view of Bellatrix's throat bobbing with a gulp.

It was too much. Speaking out loud about this unspoken thing. Andromeda knew this. She couldn't help but be disappointed, but she was scared too. She nodded. "I've heard things too, you know? About you."

"I'm not hanging out with any mudbloods," Bellatrix said, scowling. Andromeda ignored her.

"Did you know that Father is in talks with Lord Lestrange about a betrothal?"

Bellatrix finally looked up at her again. Andromeda took a slow, deep breath. She nodded.

"You did know." Well. Did that change things? Her hands stopped moving as her mind whirled. "I see."

"It's not like I want either of them. You know I--" Bellatrix cut herself off. 

Andromeda nodded robotically, not looking at her. She pulled her hands away and took a step back.

"What about this meeting tonight? It's with that Lord Voldemort, isn't it?"

Andromeda could feel Bellatrix's eyes on her. The hesitance. "It is."

"What happened to not getting married right away? It's been, what, six weeks? Has that already fallen through?"

"I... no. He hasn't taken it back." 

If possible, Andromeda's gut dropped even further. "So it's you that's given up on that."

"Andi..."

Andromeda turned around quickly, facing the door. She couldn't let Bellatrix see the way her eyes had begun to burn with the threat of tears. "It sounds like maybe you do want at least one of the boys, then. Father must be thrilled."

A careful hand reached out for hers. Andromeda felt suddenly furious. With Bellatrix. With herself. With her wildly inappropriate feelings that were obviously not reciprocated. With their circumstances in general. She snatched her hand away from the questing touch and whirled on Bellatrix, face red. 

"You could have told me. I'm not some porcelain doll that'll crack if you even look at it wrong. If that's the way you feel then you should have told me. I'll be... I'll be happy for you." She reached up and rubbed at her face. When her hand came away, it was wet. "I will," she said, quieter. "Eventually."

"It's not," Bellatrix said, quickly adding, "the way I feel." Something about the tone of her voice had Andromeda looking up at her face despite her anguish. The look there made Andromeda's heart pound. Something pained, tender. Bellatrix reached a trembling hand out to wipe Andromeda's wet cheek herself. "Merlin, Andi, don't you know that? Don't you know that I--"

"I don't," Andromeda said, insistent. Her jaw shook with emotion. "I don't know anything. We never talk about this. You look at me sometimes like... like you'd fight the world for me. But then you go and fight me instead. Ignore me. Punish me. And for what? Because I have friends? You're out there flirting with actual marriage prospects and somehow I'm the one who--"

Bellatrix pulled her closer, hands gentle but firm. She slid a hand up behind Andromeda's neck, drawing them so near that her breath puffed nervously against Andromeda's lips. Here she paused. "I don't want them. I want you."

Andromeda's eyes flooded even more with tears. She didn't fight Bellatrix's hold, reaching out to clutch her fingers in the front of her sister's dress robes. "But how do you want me? Because Bella, I..." Her voice hitched. "I don't want you to marry anyone else. I want you to be mine."

There. It was out there. She'd never said anything like that, not aloud. At least not to anyone but her own reflection.

She had hardly remembered how deeply their separation had hurt her. How much that wound had never healed. 

Had it been this strong?

Something inside of her quaked. 

Had she wanted Bella this badly? She remembered that they'd been entangled for years. That they'd never really spoken about it. That she'd told herself it was just... a game. A game they'd played. Pretending that it meant something.

The world grayed around the edges. 

Had it meant something?

_"Shh,"_ the voice whispered. Andromeda waited for the warmth to come, to wipe away her doubts, but it didn't. She remained, trembling, pressed up against Bellatrix in their frozen tableaux. 

"Is this real?" she whispered to the voice. 

_"Does it feel real?"_

Andromeda's heart pounded in her chest. Her palms were sweating. She wanted to press forward and claim those perfect lips. She wanted more. She wanted to hear sweet nothings from that velvet voice. She wanted. She wanted so much. She'd never wanted something more than this.

"It can't be. It can't be real."

_"Just because you never experienced this before doesn't mean the experience is any less real. If you've never wanted something with this intensity that just means you never truly wanted anything this badly before."_

Andromeda closed her eyes, her expression pained. She must have felt like this before. She must have.

If she didn't then...

_"You want this. You need this. You just didn't remember before."_

Andromeda shook. Her body. Her head.

"No. No, this isn't... it's not real. You're making me feel this way."

_"I'm just here to remind you of what you truly want. And help you get it. After all this time."_

"It's not real." Andromeda's voice shook. With desperation. With terror. With longing. "You can't just make this real because you want it to be."

There was the impression of a smile. A smirk. The warmth of amusement. _"It is real, Andi. Think about how you feel right now, right this moment. What do you want?"_

"I want..." The need swept over her again. The need for Bellatrix to be hers. The desire to be wanted and needed in return. Her eyes opened again, straight into the face of that tender expression from her sister. Still so close. "I want this. Oh Merlin, please."

_"It's yours."_

Bellatrix's eyes shined brighter. Hope and terror warred within her expression for a moment before she swallowed back her fear and nodded, nose brushing against Andromeda's as she did so. "I want to be yours. I want you to be mine."

Andromeda gave a half sob and then leaned in, finally closing that gap. The first touch of their lips felt like an explosion. A release. The culmination of years and years of build up and repression. Andromeda could barely breathe through the emotion in her chest. 

Bellatrix took control of the kiss when it was clear Andromeda couldn't get ahold of herself enough to do so. She held Andromeda close, one hand tangling in her hair and ruining all the work that had gone into pinning it up. Her tongue pressed against the seam of their lips, slipping easily inside as Andromeda gasped. It twined against her own, coaxed her into action. Into panting. Into clawing desperately at the ties that held Bella's robes together, aching to get underneath.

"Bella. Bella, please." She felt weak 

"Tell me," Bellatrix coaxed in between kisses. One hand clasped Andromeda's, guiding it under her robes, pressing against her chest. Andromeda could feel Bellatrix's heart pounding almost as hard as her own. "Tell me you're mine."

"I'm yours," Andromeda replied immediately. "I'm yours and I need you." Her hand caressed Bellatrix's chest, sliding down between her breasts and parting the robe further as she went. "I need to touch you. Let me..."

"Fuck," Bellatrix pulled her head back and groaned quietly. She let go of Andromeda but only to reach for her own robes and pull them off. Andromeda watched with hungry eyes, taking in the young, toned body she hadn't seen in years. Had dreamed about. She reached out with both hands and grasped Bellatrix's hips as she pressed her into another full body kiss. 

"Mine," she said. Her mouth trailed across the other girl's jaw, down her neck. Bellatrix slid her hands into Andromeda's hair again and tugged sharply, causing her to let out a moan. 

"You've got me worked up and you'd better fix that, but we don't have time to explore right now." 

Andromeda licked her lips, pulling back enough to look at Bellatrix with pupils blown wide. "You can't be serious. I want to do everything."

"We will." Bellatrix grinned, sharp and full of promise. The look made Andromeda's core flood with warmth. "I'm going to show you how each and every inch of you belongs to me. But later. Right now we need to be quick. We still have an appointment."

"You're thinking of your stupid Lord right now?" Andromeda stiffened, almost pulling away.

Bellatrix kept her close, tugging at her hair again in admonishment. "I'm thinking about the promise of not having to get married. Not when I have something better to come home to." Andromeda looked at Bellatrix, eyes wide. She melted against her, pressing her into another kiss. 

It lasted long enough for Andromeda's clothes to join Bellatrix's on the floor. 

"But that... means we need to go to this meeting," Bellatrix managed to speak again, eventually. Andromeda's lips were otherwise occupied, sliding down her sister's body as her knees fell to the floor. Bellatrix paused, letting out a choked sound at the sight of Andromeda smirking up at her from her knees before her. "Fuck. I..." 

"We'll both go meet your Lord," Andromeda promised. Her lips pressed against one inner thigh, feeling Bellatrix's muscles trembling wildly. "But for now, sit down on the bed before you fall over." Bellatrix did, almost collapsing. Andromeda smirked again. "I promise you won't last long. And then we'll go make sure we can keep doing this for much, much longer."

Somewhere in her mind, mostly forgotten right now, the presence fluttered wildly, deliberately not interfering or stopping this new memory. _"God, Andi, how were they ever able to let you go? Never again. You belong with us."_

Andromeda let herself sink into her sister's desire, not protesting at all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's block, life, etc. 
> 
> This story has more than 1000 hits already. That's either a lot of readers or a few people who are obsessed. An accomplishment either way. Your feedback helps keep the fires stoked hot. Thanks to everyone who reads and leaves kudos and comments.

"Is Cissy old enough to be coming with us?" Andromeda asked as she worked to make her hair presentable again. Bellatrix was not being helpful, an arm wrapped around her from behind and lips kissing at her shoulders. She smiled at her in the mirror, not inclined to make her stop. 

"She's fifteen," Bellatrix said, resting her chin on Andromeda's head and getting even more in the way. "She's smart. She can make her own decisions. We all get enough of people telling us what to do."

It was impossible to work this way. Andromeda gave Bellatrix a wry look and gave up. She'd do some quick wand work and it would have to be good enough. "I'm just worried about her, Bella. Some things she shouldn't have to worry about yet."

"She will anyway."

They shared another glance in the mirror, this one more sober. "She will. The most perceptive of us all, I swear."

Bellatrix nodded. "Thankfully she's a Black and will use her powers for us and not against us." She squeezed Andromeda one more time, kissing the top of her head. "Another reason she should come. You know we should stick together."

Andromeda took in a slow, measured breath. She fought the instinctual hurt, the part of her that wanted to say: "Yet you weren't planning on inviting me." She didn't. 

Instead, the world paused again.

Bellatrix's eyes were soft in the mirror. Full of love for her and for Narcissa. Full of hope for the future. 

Andromeda wanted to stay here, just like this. Ignore all that wasn't perfect and just exist in this bubble where Bellatrix was hers and everything was good.

_"I'm going to be honest with you,"_ the voice said, softly enough to respect Andromeda's mood. _"More honest than I probably should be, but I want you to understand that I'm on your side."_

Andromeda felt warmth wrap around her, more than the feeling of Bellatrix against her back. She closed her eyes, this young body obeying her even though the world was paused. The voice's presence was beginning to feel familiar, welcome.

_"Bella wanted you to love her Dark Lord as much as she did."_ The voice used its most soothing tone, but still, the words made Andromeda stiffen. 

_No._

The warmth flooded through her again. Andromeda let out a soft moan, realizing that this was the first time her body was free to move and feel under the voice's influence. And it felt... good. 

_"I agree,"_ the voice said. Warmth caressed her arms, her shoulders, her back, down again. Andromeda's head fell back, and it was a combination of the still form of Bellatrix and the warm embrace of the voice that cushioned her. _"I promised you weren't a substitute, didn't I, Andi? I don't want another Bellatrix. Neither does Cissa. We just want you, fully."_

Everywhere the warmth touched radiated with a heat of its own, as if the presence was a flame and Andromeda was the wick. It lingered, licked at her skin, deeper still, lighting a path through her veins, and yet it didn't burn. Andromeda shuddered, trying to maintain some level of control over her body, over her mind.

She wanted to think. For once, she had her mind, but as the presence filled her body with warmth, that was once again difficult to access. 

"What..." Andromeda moaned again, but the word was enough to cause the touches to pause. She felt curiosity from the voice. Enough that, with a force of extreme will and trembling muscles, she could sit up again. "What is this supposed to accomplish, then? If not to make a Death Eater of me."

The world around them flickered, gray around the edges, and then the image of Bellatrix behind her was replaced with the woman that 47-year-old Andromeda had let into her home for a bottle of tainted wine. Hermione looked at Andromeda through the mirror, studying the image of the two of them together, 17-year-old Andromeda still flushed with the warmth of Hermione's hands on her shoulders. 

"You're so strong, Andi," Hermione said, her voice no less warm and compelling now that it was right next to her ear rather than coming from within her, all around her. "You never let yourself be something you weren't then, and you stand up to me now, despite all my advantages." Lips brushed lightly against her earlobe, then lower, trailing teasingly against her neck. The warmth followed, even as the pressure was almost nonexistent, flickering pecks of pleasure bursting one after another against her skin. 

Andromeda moaned, clutching at her chair in a desperate attempt not to reach out for Hermione. Her mind spun once more, each thought burning happily under another kiss from those poisoned lips. 

"I'm not here to make you a Death Eater, Andi. I know you built so much of yourself, and so much of your image, on being the opposite of what you were groomed to be." She hummed softly, and Andromeda felt the vibration flow straight from the crook of her neck to her clit, back arching helplessly. The lips against her neck quirked into a smile. "But we both know there is a Black at your core. One who never forgot her sisters, despite the drastic actions she took to be free. One who was desperate, but not naïve. Who knows that the Order was not completely good, just as the other side was not completely evil."

Hermione's hands curved back down Andromeda's arms, taking her time as she caressed the bared skin. 

"That's the woman we're trying to unearth. You buried her, but she's not dead. And I want to know..." Hermione's teeth grazed Andromeda's shoulder, the hint of something sharper, more potent. "What would that woman do if she hadn't been so desperate? What would she do if she knew she could get 'traitor' removed from her name?"

Andromeda cried out at the feeling of Hermione's teeth sinking into her shoulder. Her hips rocked nearly off the seat, hand reaching back not to pull Hermione off, but to cradle her head and pull her in closer. There was pain, yes, but it was completely overwhelmed by what felt like a direct injection of the warmth that followed all of Hermione's touches. 

All of her questions were gone. All of her thoughts. There was only this. This chair. This moment. The interminable pleasure of her connection with Hermione and whatever that entailed. 

She was 17. She was 47. She was anything Hermione wanted her to be.

Her eyes rolled back in her head and she felt the wave of pleasure and warmth spread throughout her body and then further, basking the entire room in a rose gold glow. It was more than any orgasm she'd ever felt before.

It lasted forever. It lasted a moment.

Then it was over and Andromeda was alone once more in the darkness.

This time she was truly silent, however. There were no thoughts. None even to be scared of this void. Andromeda was simply content to be whatever she was.

And that was all.

* * *

After some time, Andromeda heard a soft groan from beside her. This time the sound came from fully outside of herself, instead of in her head. If Andromeda could have had a thought it might have been one of relief. Instead, she remained passive in her darkness even as she heard shuffling around her.

A soft hand stroked her cheek. It was just a hand, this time. There was no magic warmth, no overwhelming heat. It simply caressed. 

"You're a puzzle, Andromeda. The kind riddled with traps and curses." The voice was quiet. Filled with fondness but also with a very evident weariness that hadn't been there inside her head. "I never can resist a challenge, even if it kills me."

The hand moved away. There was another groan and more shuffling. A soft incantation and suddenly a whoosh and the crackling of a fireplace. Then the voice spoke, softly but with determination, "Malfoy Manor".

* * *

In the darkness, Andromeda dreamed.

She'd been to Malfoy Manor once, when she and her sisters were young. This was before any betrothals were set and the heads of household simply wanted to have their heirs mingle and perhaps see what came of it. None of them had liked Lucius, much. Too arrogant and into himself even as a young teen, and otherwise boring.

It was only later, after Bellatrix was chained to her much less desirable fate and Andromeda had fled from her own, that Narcissa's match had been made. When it came out that it had been Narcissa that had made it happen for herself, Andromeda had broken open a bottle of wine in her honor. Arrogant and boring were easy faults to work with when the alternative was so stark.

The dream, though. It was set in Malfoy Manor, although it didn't much resemble the manor she had visited. Bits and pieces of her sister were everywhere. In the cut and color of the drapes, in the rug that came from their childhood home, in the plants that littered the hallways which she was sure were real. Narcissa had a green thumb, much like she excelled at most anything she put her mind to. Andromeda kept a small garden as well, in memory of the time they'd spent together studying herbology and then putting that knowledge to use. 

She'd stumbled out of the floo, then stopped. Her knees were shaking from overexertion, and it was all she could do to make her way to a couch and plop down on it. Andromeda thought idly that Narcissa would not like that, but perhaps her state would be enough to make her forget how harshly she'd treated her furniture. 

An elf popped into the parlor, likely alerted by the floo activation, and looked at her with wide eyes. "Oh, Mistress Hermy. What has you done?"

The question made her laugh, and she let her head fall back against the couch. "It would be my fault, wouldn't it?" she said. "Can you fetch Narcissa, please? Thank you, Mipsy."

Mipsy popped back out. 

Not even five seconds later, Mipsy returned, this time with Narcissa, the blonde looking somehow wild-eyed and flustered without even a single hair out of place.

"I could've waited for you to walk, Cissa. I know you like your grand entrances."

"You and your smart mouth," Narcissa said, crossing the room and immediately waving her wand in the pattern of a common diagnostic charm. "You used to be more polite." Her brow furrowed as she took in the information she was reading. "What have you done?"

"That was exactly what Mipsy said," she said, smiling tiredly. "And as for my smart mouth, I'm afraid that's your fault. Well, yours and your sisters'."

"My sisters..." Narcissa's gaze snapped to her face, eyes once more showing far more panic than Andromeda had seen since Narcissa was just a child. "Andi..." She breathed. "What happened? Where is she? Did you fight?"

"She's fine, Cissa," she said. "Resting just where I left her." Her eyes closed with a long sigh. "I underestimated her, just as you warned me not to."

"Oh, darling," Narcissa said, tone calming considerably. The couch shifted as she sat down next to her, and Andromeda felt her take her hand and rub soft circles against the back of it. "Whatever happened, you've really done a number on yourself."

Andromeda felt the desire to cry at the soft touch. Her sister, touching her like this. Speaking to her like this. This was a good dream. She'd missed her so.

Tears prickled at the corners of her eyes and she stiffened, reaching up a trembling hand to touch the wetness. "Tears?" she said, almost to herself. When she opened her eyes again it was to Narcissa's concerned and searching expression. 

"Is it that bad? The experience?"

"No, no, I..." Her brow furrowed, and then Andromeda felt the touch of another presence against her. She shuddered. Here, on this couch, and also elsewhere. Lying on a floor marked heavily with glowing runes. Her eyes widened. "Oh. The connection. Of course, I couldn't sever it yet, but I didn't expect..."

"The connection?" She looked back at Narcissa, intelligent eyes trying to keep up with only one side of the conversation. 

Her face was so open. Not guarded like every time Andromeda had only briefly run across her in Diagon Alley. Not shrouded in darkness and despair at the funerals, when they hadn't spoken a word to each other. Andromeda wanted to cry again for this, her sister once more. 

So she did. 

The tears ran fully down her face this time, and she couldn't suppress a small sob. "Oh, oh, Cissa... she... I think this is her. Missing you."

Narcissa's hand stilled, clutching harder than she probably meant to. Her mouth opened and closed a few times before she swallowed. "Andromeda is _here_ , somehow?" Pale blue eyes searched her face as if she could find some hint of her sister in her eyes. Eventually, she looked away. "Hermione, this isn't part of anything we discussed. It's not supposed to go both ways."

"It does," she said wearily. "By necessity. I can't make the connection without giving something of myself, but the runes are supposed to help with boundaries to keep us distinct and occlumency does the rest." She smiled a sheepish sort of smile at the sharp look Narcissa gave her. "My shields only dropped because I've drained myself nearly completely. Let me..."

The dream ended. Andromeda was shoved unceremoniously back into the void once more.


	6. Chapter 6

Andromeda was alone. Completely alone. 

With no way to measure time, there was no way to know for how long. Each second was an eon. 

Just her. The darkness.

And occasionally dreams.

Vague dreams. Dreams about being back at Hogwarts, wandering the halls. The staircases forcing her into an endless climb as they shifted and groaned and refused to deliver her anywhere useful.

She wandered the halls for days, no one else around to help her. No one to hear her screams.

There were dreams where she was dead and buried, far below the earth. She imagined that Narcissa came to visit and had tea parties right there atop her grave. She spoke casually about how they still hadn't found her body and didn't even believe her to be missing. Then she poured her cup out into the dirt, leaving it to seep down, down, until Andromeda was surrounded by nothing but dirt and tainted wine.

Once, she dreamed she was being held by her husband. His arms were strong and steady even as she cried. When the tears stopped and she finally turned around, however, it was Bellatrix who smiled at her. Who kissed her damp cheeks, assured her that everything would be fine, and then slid a knife between her ribs and held her as she bled out.

She was alone in the darkness, underground, dead and gone.

Andromeda wished that death would let her rest.

* * *

"I'm sorry I left you for so long, Andi," the voice said. "I'm here. I won't leave you again."

Warmth sunk back in at the edges of her mind, providing a barrier from all the visions and leaving her and the presence alone in the darkness once more. Alone, but together. Andromeda reached out with no arms, desperate for an embrace. The presence responded by enfolding her more fully in its calming glow, swaddling her like an infant in warmth. 

If she could have, Andromeda would have sobbed in relief.

"It's not good for us to be apart while we're connected. I should have had Narcissa bring me here while I rested. I'm sorry." The voice was once more inside the vast emptiness with her, soothing her from inside her, all around her. It was comforting instead of invasive to no longer be alone. "I missed you too. Are you ready to continue? I've had a long talk with Cissa about this and I know just how to help you now. I'll be right here with you."

At this point, Andromeda would take the void forever, as long as the voice didn't leave her there alone. She didn't need anything else. She didn't want to risk all the terrors she knew could await her.

"I can't promise nothing bad will happen," the voice soothed, "but you don't really want to be stuck here forever, do you? Work with me this time, Andromeda. Don't fight me. You've already seen how good it can feel." The warmth intensified, spreading out to spark at her non-existent nerve-endings. She did remember how good it could feel. Something within Andromeda gave, just a bit, relaxing further into the embrace. "That's right. And then you can get through to the other side, where your family is waiting for you."

Sluggishly, images flickered. Ted's arms around her. Holding hands with him under the table at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop. Being wrapped up in his black and gold scarf.

"You're confused, Andi," the voice whispered. "Those things didn't happen." It sounded so caring, so gentle. It felt so warm and loving. Andromeda trembled in the darkness with the conflicting desires to lash out and allow the voice to explain, to help her. 

The voice had come back. It hadn't left her here forever. It didn't want to hurt her, did it?

"That's right. I'm here to help. You've been alone in here for a very long time, lost and confused." She had. Here in the darkness. It felt like forever. How long had she been here? "It's understandable that your mind is playing tricks on you. It's not your fault that you've gotten turned around. Let me help you. Let me show you what the truth is."

Andromeda wavered.

Other images flickered, more recently.

Hermione with her lips next to her ear. _"You stand up to me now, despite all my advantages."_

The dream in the manor. Narcissa asking if she'd had fought Andromeda, her own voice admitting she'd underestimated her.

Further back.

Hermione with a bottle of wine. Tainted wine. Cursed wine. Her body no longer her own.

_"I think we should deal with Ted Tonks next."_

The last one more than any of the others caused a flare inside of her. An icy anger. A desperate desire to fight, to flee. The nothingness around her quaked.

The presence responded with more soft warmth. Soothing. It did not retreat from her anger, only held her. Andromeda felt her rage sapping almost as quickly as it had come, sinking back down into the dark, sinking back down into the presence's embrace. She trembled without a body. Scared.

"I'm sorry," the voice said quietly. "I thought it would be best if I didn't explain, that it would be easier for you." A ripple of warmth continued to roll against her, mimicking a hand rubbing at her back, the soft touch of a loved one. "You've been confused for a long time now. I really am here to help you, I just didn't want to cause a panic."

Exhaustion. Doubt. 

Andromeda tried to hold onto an image of her late husband. It faded as another wave of warmth caressed her.

"I've tried to be gentle, because I know this is hard for you. The world as you know it is changing and you want to hold onto what you think you know. I understand. But think for a moment. Yes, I know it's hard, Andi. Try for me. Does the world you think you know make sense? That Andromeda Black, the girl who was devoted to her sisters, would abandon them, would throw literally everything away for a boy? That your sisters would abandon you in turn? Do you really think they'd just allow you to go without trying to bring you home? Do you honestly, truly believe that Bellatrix, who loves you and Narcissa more than her own life, would get so lost that she'd try to kill your child?"

It didn't matter if she wanted to believe it. That's what happened. And it was more complicated than that...

"Andromeda, you're confused. That's not a good world. That's not the world I would want to live in, not if I could help it. Is it really the world you want to cling to?"

That's what happened.

Wasn't it?

"Let me help you, Andi. Let me show you something better."

The image of Hermione and the wine again. Her own voice, _"You can't just make this real because you want it to be."_

"Trust me. Your sisters miss you, Andi. They want you to come home."

Home? With them?

"Home. With me too, Andi. You can feel it, right? You're comfortable with me. You trust me. Why would that be the case if there wasn't more that you don't remember? Trust me. Trust me like the you from a better world trusts me. I'll bring you home."

Andromeda trembled again. There were a lot of things that she wished hadn't happened, but there were good things, weren't there? Did she want to lose the good things?

What if it really was better?

The voice had come back. It didn't want to leave her in the darkness. It wanted to help her. 

An image of Bellatrix. Young. Earnest. _"I want to be yours."_

Was that real?

"Yes. Yes! We've already done a little bit of work, remember? But you've been clinging to the world you think you want. Help me. Stop fighting me and there will be more of that. I promise."

Andromeda felt her defenses crumble in the face of that promise. She was tired of fighting. Why was she even fighting if what she was fighting for was wrong? Was painful? 

Ted was dead. The voice wanted to tell her something about him, something bad, it seemed. The idea was painful. But he was dead. Gone. He wouldn't ever come back. 

If for some reason he hadn't been who she'd believed him to be, was that better or worse than him being good but gone forever?

She didn't want to lose Ted, but she already had.

The fear threatened to overwhelm her once more, but the voice had promised to help her. And she had been alone for so long. She could try. She could try to trust.

A wave of relief swept over her from the presence, and Andromeda felt a sudden bloom of warm jubilation. The emotion was contagious and it soothed her nerves, even as the voice calmed and gained a renewed determination.

"We need to start where we left off," the voice said. "It's very important. The first time you met Voldemort."

Andromeda thought vaguely of Bellatrix's engagement party, the man who had captivated Bellatrix more than her fiancé ever would. She had hated him. She'd managed to avoid meeting him until then, only having seen him at dinner parties with her father, but never close enough for a proper introduction, despite all the waxing poetic Bellatrix did about him. The engagement party had been the first time she'd ever touched his hand, and she knew that he had already determined her wanting. The feeling was mutual. 

She'd left soon after. She'd never had to be near him again.

"No," the voice said, careful to be gentle. "You met him after you and Bellatrix made up, remember? You went with Bella and Cissa."

Hesitantly, Andromeda tried to pull up that memory. There was the memory of planning to go, that was true. She and Bellatrix had made up— that filled her with joy, even now— but then there was nothing. Had they gone? She could remember Hermione's face staring at her through the mirror, out of place, and for a moment she couldn't help but fight the conflicting information. It was wrong. Something was wrong. She had to...

"Shh." Warmth soothed her again. "Don't fight, Andi. I can make it right again. Trust me to help you if something feels wrong."

It didn't make sense. She felt fractured. The darkness around Andromeda vibrated with her tension, but she tried to push it down. She would trust. She would let the voice prove that they could make it right.

"Good girl, Andi."

The darkness slowly filled with gray fog. As the darkness receded more and more, Andromeda felt both less tense and less ephemeral. The voice would fix it. It already felt better.

She let go.

* * *

The Lestrange Manor was a gloomy place, full of dark wood, dark curtains, and dark corners. Even the sconces on the walls seemed to burn lower than normal, causing shadows to flicker ominously. She imagined growing up in a place like this, where even the house wanted to oppress you, and she found herself understanding the Lestrange brothers just the tiniest bit more.

She still hated them, though.

The parlor that housed their floo, and thus the de facto greeting place for guests, was already teeming with people when the Black sisters arrived. At a glance, Andromeda noticed mostly recent graduates, no one older than 25, but there were also those her age. Almost all of them were Slytherin, pureblood, and from wealthy families. The thought caused Andromeda to sour, remembering her initial thought that this 'Lord' was less fond of their father than he was of his bank account.

"Bella! You made it!" Rodolphus Lestrange swept in almost as soon as the ash had settled, taking Bellatrix's free hand and giving her a debonair smile. Andromeda narrowed her eyes at him, her jealousy causing her to squeeze Bellatrix's other hand, which she refused to release. For a moment, she considered feeling self-conscious about the act, but then Bellatrix flicked a smug, pleased smirk in her direction and Andromeda remembered that she didn't have to completely conceal her possessive nature anymore. Bellatrix had promised to be hers.

Andromeda felt a smug smile of her own grace her lips and she stood up straighter.

Rodolphus' gaze followed Bellatrix's, causing his brow to sink into something suspicious. "You brought your sisters. Both of them."

"It almost sounds like you don't want me here, Rodolphus," Andromeda said, voice full of false confusion. "I'm hurt."

The suspicious look on his face dampened into a full on glower. 

"Of course I brought them both," Bellatrix said, squeezing Andromeda's hand in return. Whether in amusement or admonishment, Andromeda didn't know, nor care. What she did care about was how Bellatrix dropped Rodolphus' hand to fall limply to his side. "The Blacks are all very interested in progress and Lord Voldemort's ideas. I know Narcissa is young, but she's old enough to understand how important this is as well." 

Bellatrix's voice was pointed. They all knew he hadn't been implying anything about Narcissa, but she wouldn't accept any discussion on this. Or else.

Andromeda bit the inside of her cheek. Perhaps she shouldn't have given in to the desire to needle him. Bellatrix had been more effectively diplomatic about the slight. She hated pureblood politics.

"Has he arrived yet?" Bellatrix asked.

"Not yet. He should be here shortly, however. Feel free to mingle." Rodolphus gave Andromeda one more look before bowing his head and leaving them to greet his other guests. 

Bellatrix turned to her, and Andromeda sighed. "You don't need to say anything. I'll behave."

"He was being a jerk," Narcissa said, from Andromeda's other side. She sniffed dismissively.

"He's always a jerk," Andromeda said. She didn't know why Bellatrix even entertained his company.

"He is," Bellatrix said easily. She turned so she was facing both of them, keeping her voice low. "But it does prove that we need to work on your image, Andi. I wasn't overstating things when I said you were gaining a reputation."

Personally, Andromeda had no problems with her reputation if it kept people like Rodolphus Lestrange from thinking she was the "right kind of people", but she did have an obligation to her sisters. And the rest of her family, to a lesser extent. Mostly just her sisters. She didn't want to cause them problems. 

"I'm here," Andromeda said firmly. "I'm not entirely sure what this Lord's plans are, but I imagine based on the target audience"—she waved her hand at all the rich snobs around them—"it goes against my reputation, correct?"

Bellatrix tilted her head in consideration and then nodded. "Yes, this will go a long way." She reached out and brushed a loose curl out of Andromeda's face, expression softening. From the corner of her eye, Andromeda could see Narcissa still. "You'll see, Andi. You just need to hear what he has to say. We'll really make a difference." 

What kind of difference? Andromeda managed a small smile. "And you'll make sure to ask him about what we discussed?"

"I will." Bellatrix glanced at Narcissa, then cleared her throat and put her normal, cocky smirk back on. "Will you two be okay on your own for a bit? I should go talk to some people before things get started."

"I already promised to behave," Andromeda said drily. She grinned at the look Bellatrix gave her. "Go. We're fine."

Bellatrix left, but not without squeezing Andromeda's hip as she brushed past. Andromeda sighed softly, then raised a brow at the look Narcissa was giving her. 

"What?"

"What was that?"

They stared at each other for a long moment, Andromeda wondering what to say. It wasn't like Narcissa had been oblivious to any of their antics in the past. They'd been discreet but not that discreet, not safe at home when it was just them. But what they were doing before was different from what they'd said they were doing now, and apparently it was already obvious. 

Andromeda took a slow, measured breath. "If you're asking, then you already have an idea."

The lack of denial was enough for Narcissa's jaw to drop a fraction. For Narcissa, that might as well have been a loud gasp. Andromeda bit her lip, feeling the tiniest urge to giggle. 

"You... and Bella?" Narcissa whispered. Andromeda glanced around them quickly, then gave a hesitant nod. Her younger sister's eyes went even wider. "You're telling me this _now?_ " she hissed.

"I wasn't going to tell you at all! Not yet, anyway."

The blonde grabbed Andromeda by the arm, then paused. She gave Andromeda a look that said she'd better not fight her on this, and then calmly manhandled Andromeda into an unpopulated corner, giving small smiles to the people they passed as if nothing was going on at all. Andromeda bit her lip harder, and did giggle this time. Just a little bit.

"Andi, what are you..." Narcissa paused. Shook her head. "What, _exactly_ , are you doing?"

"I told you that you didn't have to ask me this..."

"I know what you've _been_ doing," Narcissa whispered with more force. She paused again and collected herself. "I haven't said anything because it's not the sort of thing you say. This is different though, isn't it?"

Andromeda looked out at the crowd, easily finding Bellatrix surrounded by people. She was speaking, gesturing with her hands and looking alive in the way she always did when debating something she felt passionate about. A few of the others were nodding, and Andromeda smiled at the sight. It was easy to see why Bellatrix was so enamored with this project of hers, when there were people who didn't just dismiss her opinions as worthless since she was a girl. It was actually rather progressive for a pureblood gathering in that way.

"Andi. Seriously." 

"Yes," Andromeda said softly, turning to look at her sister again. "It's different. She's going to talk to him about not having to get married right away. See if he really meant it. Because we"—Andromeda took a nervous breath, still amazed about what she was about to admit to, that it was real—"agreed it's exclusive. That it's more." 

Narcissa breathed in sharply through her nose, her mouth pinching. Then she rubbed at her brow and sighed. "I saw that coming from you, but from Bella?" 

They both looked over at their older sister again, only to see her staring at them in suspicion. Andromeda gave Bellatrix a small grin and hoped it was enough to keep her from coming over. Bellatrix's eyes narrowed further, but eventually she softened and nodded, favoring Andromeda with a quick wink. Andromeda couldn't help the way her smile widened, completely enamored. 

"Well, look at that," Narcissa said. "Maybe it is true."

"I can hardly believe it myself," Andromeda admitted. Eventually, she looked at her younger sister. Narcissa was still staring at Bellatrix and had recomposed her expression so that she was once again unreadable. "Are you... upset?" 

The idea of Narcissa having a problem with this made something clench inside of her. She wasn't sure if she could handle it. Her relationship with Bella had always been something fraught with tension and an undeniable push-pull between them, but she wouldn't necessarily say that she was closer to Bella than she was with Cissy. They had far more in common than she did with Bella and she couldn't imagine something coming between them. Especially not this.

Narcissa hesitated long enough for Andromeda's face to fall. She nodded, about to turn away, when Narcissa reached out and grabbed her hands. "Andi, no, I... I'm not upset. I'm worried." She swallowed, then laughed softly. "Actually, I'm a little relieved in some ways. I thought you and that Hufflepuff boy were having a sordid affair and I didn't know how to keep that from Bella and our parents, so this is better."

"You thought—"

"Yes, you need to work on that, like Bella said," Narcissa said firmly. She squeezed her hands to soften the tone she used. "But aside from that it would be... easier in some ways if one of you were a boy."

"A lot of things would be easier if one of us had been a boy."

Narcissa's mouth twisted sympathetically, and she nodded. "I am happy for you, Andi. I'm also amazed you two managed to actually talk about anything." 

Andromeda let out a short bark of laughter. They really weren't the best at communication. They connected better in other ways. "We're working on it."

"Good. And Andi?" Andromeda stilled curiously at Narcissa's almost shy voice. "Can you... tell me, next time? It's hard not knowing what's going on with you, especially when you and Bella were fighting." Narcissa hesitated, and Andromeda squeezed her hands in encouragement. When she spoke again, her voice was even quieter. "I was worried that you were..." She didn't finish whatever she was going to say.

"I won't hide anything from you, Cissy." Andromeda's tone matched her sister's, making sure she knew how sincere she was. "I know that Bella and I are... whatever we are now, but you know that doesn't make you any less important to me, right?"

Narcissa smiled. She looked young in this moment, young in a way she didn't usually look, so mature for her age. Andromeda smiled back at her and, ignoring the fact that they were in public right now, pulled her sister into a hug. Narcissa melted into her, clearly thankful for the reassurance. "I love you, Cissy," she murmured into her hair.

"I love you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect that the 'meeting with Voldemort' would stretch into three separate chapters but here we are. Still not done with it. Thanks again for reading and please let me know what you think.


	7. Chapter 7

Something in the air changed. Almost as one, all the heads in the room turn towards the floo and the newest arrival. 

Andromeda resisted the urge. She knew it would change something. Not right away, maybe. But it would mark the beginning of something new, something she couldn't completely control.

She looked instead to Bellatrix, who was staring unabashedly at the newcomer with a wide smile. Her entire body had turned, like a flower towards the sun, and she was already in the process of moving towards the floo.

Andromeda turned away.

She looked next to Narcissa, only to find her blue eyes staring right back at her. 

"Cissa..." Andromeda said, relieved in a way she couldn't articulate. 

Narcissa didn't smile, but she seemed just as affected. "Do you think he's everything she says he is?"

"We have to hope so, don't we?" Andromeda asked. There was still something in her that was uneasy at the thought. She didn't really know anything about the man, did she? Why should she be so reluctant? But there was a roiling in her gut, a surety that she didn't want him to be her savior. That he couldn't be. 

She went to say something else, something to reassure both herself and her sister, but couldn't get the words out over a sudden urge to be sick. 

"Hopefully he's not just stringing Bella— Andi? Are you okay?"

Narcissa's voice reached her in an echo, something to do with the way her vision warped, tunneling into just a small slice of the floor. She sucked in a shaky breath. 

_"Don't fight it. Everything is fine. He's not something to be afraid of. He's just a man."_

Narcissa's hand was on her back, discreetly rubbing. Warmth poured into her from the contact, quelling the storm inside of her enough to gasp and snap back into herself. She swallowed, blinking quickly to dispel the way her vision was still hazy and gray around the edges.

"I'm fine. Just got dizzy for a second."

"Are you sure? Should we sit down?"

"I probably should have had something to eat before we came," Andromeda said, offering Narcissa a shaky smile. "Don't worry about me. I can't mess up this first impression. Bella would kill me."

"Bella wouldn't want you to pass out." 

Andromeda stood up straighter and forced herself to breathe evenly. She gave Narcissa a calmer smile, one of her practiced in the mirror ones for important events. "Look, all better."

Narcissa gave her a look, but it was too late for any more arguing. They could both hear Bellatrix's voice approaching.

"They're very eager to meet you, Lord Voldemort," Bellatrix said. 

"As am I," a smooth voice said. "It's never too early to take an interest in our future."

Another wave of nausea swept over Andromeda and she closed her eyes. The voice. She'd heard it at dinners, of course. Talking with her father. But it felt like she was hearing something different. It warped into something sibilant in her ears, the s sounds lengthening, reverberating. Hissing. 

She'd had nightmares of that voice. Nightmares of the words it whispered into Bellatrix's ear, directly into her eager mind. She was very good at imagining the worst, even if she'd never personally heard him say anything untoward, had never been around him enough, especially after...

Andromeda's ears started ringing and she winced. 

After...

She opened her eyes. Bellatrix was standing in front of them now, eyes bright and mouth moving as she made introductions. Andromeda couldn't hear any of it. There was just the ringing. 

Ringing that grew louder as she turned her head to look at Bellatrix's Lord Voldemort, whose gaze was piercing, assessing, in return. Dark brown eyes, ever so faintly tinged with red. It was the strangest eye color she could remember seeing, arresting. Her vision tunneled again.

Voldemort flickered. His fair skin grew sickly pale, thick brown hair dissolving. His nose. His nose melted, receded into his face until there were only thin slits, giving him a vaguely snakelike appearance. And his eyes began to fairly glow with red. Something closer to blood in that coldly calculating gaze. A malice that couldn't be hidden.

Andromeda gasped. 

The man in front of her, this specter of death, smiled. A smile full of sharp teeth. He reached up with a robed arm and pointed his wand at her.

"Where we find weakness," he said. Somehow she could hear it over the clamoring sounds still in her head. Somehow she could hear how he dragged out the end of the word in a hiss. "We must destroy it."

She was frozen. Shaking. Every bit as weak as he was implying. She could do nothing as his wand lit with an eerie green glow. His mouth moved. _Avada..._

 _"He's just a man, Andromeda,"_ the voice said. Invisible arms wrapped themselves around her, filling her with warmth.

The world flickered again. Lord Voldemort stared at her with dark brown eyes, a head full of hair. A perfectly normal nose. 

_"Just a man like any other man. You know he wants to use you. You and your family. But you can use him in return."_

A hand reached up, rubbing at her neck. The heat travelled up, filling her head. The haze that had distorted her vision disappeared, leaving Andromeda to see clearly. 

Voldemort's nose was normal. More than normal. It was crooked, imperfect. Faint lines existed at the corners of his eyes, mouth, and across his brow. His thick hair was beginning to recede at the temples. 

Just a man, like the voice had promised. An aging man.

_"You are a Black, and Blacks get what they want, don't they?"_

Andromeda felt the warmth cradle her head, felt it urge her into a nod. 

_"What do you want?"_

There wasn't a clear answer for that. Andromeda looked from the-man-who-would-be-a-Lord to her sisters. Bellatrix with her eyes lit by an inner flame. Narcissa straight-backed, head up, doing her best to seem more mature than her age.

What she wanted most in this moment was...

 _"Happiness,"_ the voice whispered. The echo of it filled her up, made her shiver. _"You want to find a way for them to be happy, don't you? And free?"_

Her head nodded again and she didn't know if she had done it or the voice had.

_"You don't have to believe in his cause to use him to get what you want."_

Andromeda could feel the way her heart beat faster. Was it excitement? Dread? She couldn't tell. There was a pressure in her head, something tugging. Her eyes closed as it grew almost painful. Then it shifted, clicked.

She opened her eyes.

"These are my sisters. Andromeda is in her sixth year and Narcissa is in her fourth."

Lord Voldemort smiled, the expression surprisingly warm on the man. He reached out a hand to Andromeda, who took it automatically. The touch was cold, but otherwise unremarkable. "It's very good to meet you both," he said. "Bellatrix has told me much about you. I'm glad to see you all here tonight."

"We wouldn't miss this opportunity," Andromeda heard herself saying, that practiced smile on her face. "As you said, it's never too early to imagine a better future. One in which the House of Black is featured prominently."

The man paused for a moment, considering. "Most would say the House of Black already features prominently."

"That's true," Andromeda said, carefully not looking at either of her sisters. "But I've been given reason to believe that you understand the value of all of its members and won't allow them to be overshadowed."

Another pause. Those eyes, searching her carefully. And then his smile widened enough to show his teeth. Perfectly normal, slightly crooked teeth. "That's exactly the sort of attitude I'm looking for. You're in your sixth year, Bellatrix said?" Andromeda nodded. "Stay on top of your studies. I'm sure there's a place for you when you graduate."

He shook Narcissa's hand as well, and then was gone, swept away to greet all of his other admirers.

Andromeda watched him go. There was something about him, still. He was just a man, but as the distance increased between them, Andromeda could feel the way her body relaxed. The air around them even felt warmer. 

Bellatrix stared at him, almost vibrating. 

How long would it be before Bellatrix would trail along after him without a thought to who she was leaving behind?

"Does anyone have any chocolate?" Andromeda asked quietly. 

Narcissa turned to her in concern, reaching out for her arm immediately. "Are you still feeling faint?"

"Faint?" Bellatrix asked. Her older sister's face suddenly filled Andromeda's vision, and she couldn't help but smile. She was still here. For now. The smile calmed the concerned look on Bellatrix's face. "Did I wear you out that much?" 

"So full of yourself," Andromeda said. Bellatrix smirked, as expected.

"She got really dizzy earlier," Narcissa said. "Almost fell over. I think she needs some food."

"Tattle-tale." 

"I'm glad you didn't pass out in front of Lord Voldemort," Bellatrix said, then smiled proudly. "He liked you. Now we just need to prove that we're too valuable to waste sitting pretty at home. Easy."

"Easy," Andromeda repeated. She watched the grand plans run themselves through Bellatrix's eyes. Watched as Bellatrix turned her attention once more to Voldemort instead of her sisters.

Andromeda took in a long, quiet breath through her nose.

* * *

They sat in the front row, all three sisters together, as Voldemort gave the pitch they'd gathered for tonight. It was a call to arms, in all but those words. A speech designed to inflame the passions of those who felt the world was working against them, keeping them from reaching their full potential. People who believed the world was changing for the worst, that the old ways weren't given the respect they were due.

Throughout it all, there was bigotry disguised as concern. Concern for the future of magic itself, the threat of weakening the power through weakening the bloodlines. 

Bellatrix leaned forward in her seat as she listened. Narcissa sat straight as always, face carefully neutral. 

Andromeda struggled not to fidget. Lord Voldemort was an engaging speaker, she couldn't deny it. He had a way of speaking that made her want to believe him. 

If the future of magic was at stake, wouldn't she want to fight for it? Of course. She couldn't imagine a world without magic. No offense to her muggleborn friends but she would never want to live like that, couldn't imagine giving it up. And she wouldn't want her children to face a world without magic either.

And she did believe that the people currently in power were incompetent, but was this man the answer?

Did she believe these things?

She didn't. Damn her own moral compass, but she couldn't believe them. There was the same wrongness that she felt in her bones from the lessons her parents had tried to impart. She'd never been able to ignore it before, and it had led her to seek out answers, to make friends with the wrong sort of people. 

The wrong sort of people who weren't weak, regardless of their parentage. The wrong sort of people who had huge hearts, who just wanted to live their lives. 

The wrong sort of people who never made her feel as if she wanted to crawl out of her skin the way she did here, surrounded by all the right sort of people.

Bellatrix reached over without looking at her and took her hand. Andromeda clung to it as if it would keep her grounded, or afloat, or whatever metaphor would prevent her from jumping out of her seat and leaving.

Her sister squeezed her hand, rubbed her thumb across her knuckles, but never tore her gaze away from Lord Voldemort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got discouraged without feedback on the last two chapters but I wanted to thank you all for the 100 kudos and 2000 hits milestone. There's only so much 'writing for myself' works out, so I might take a break from this to work on other projects. I do appreciate all the hits though.
> 
> There are also two different wolves inside me, one who wants to full on corrupt Andromeda and one who wants to bring her into the fold still mostly herself. I think those of you who click on this agree with the first wolf (always fun) but I love what makes Andromeda _Andromeda_. I'm not sure. If you have thoughts about that or ideas you'd like to see incorporated, leave me a note. I'd love to hear it.


	8. Chapter 8

The darkness of the void welcomed them both back into its familiar hold. 

The voice hummed audibly, content with itself. Andromeda could feel the pride, the satisfaction. She knew the feelings weren't her own, but they were strong and radiated through the darkness all the same.

She hadn't felt so close to the presence before. Not since she'd had that dream, where she forgot where she ended and where the other began. Where she'd seen Cissy soft and unguarded once more. Where she'd been someone else and yet still herself. 

It felt like that now. They were close. Their emotions were bleeding into each other.

If Andromeda could do more than exist here passively, she was sure she could press against the thinning barrier between them and do something. That thinning veil meant there was a chance to... 

Andromeda felt the darkness pressing in on her thoughts. Comforting but oppressive. Blanketing everything.

Whatever she'd been thinking of before slipped away.

The overwhelming feeling of pride remained. The voice was eager to continue.

"You remember how it started now," the voice said. "Why you were willing to put aside some misgivings in pursuit of the bigger picture."

_How what started?_

"It's not always easy to give in that way. We have that in common. The stubborn desire to do good in the world. To fight injustice. It's something I've admired about you since I first met you."

A warmth caressed her. Somewhere outside of her, a hand stroked her face. 

Andromeda's lips parted, suddenly aware of her body once more. She breathed in the cold air of wherever they were. The hand cupped her cheek, her jaw, and then lips pressed sweetly against the corner of her mouth. Warmth spread out from the gentle kiss, sparking a soft whimper of need from Andromeda. She'd been without a body for so long. 

Touch. 

She craved it. She hadn't realized how much, but she desperately needed more. Her body tensed in the effort to push up against those lips, those hands, to reach and grab for herself.

Her body remained still. Obedient, but not to her.

The lips lingered a few seconds more before they retreated, taking the hand as well.

Andromeda shivered, aching for more, for something else. Her eyes burned with tears that would not come.

"Shh, Andromeda," the voice said, inside her mind once more. "I couldn't help myself. You don't know how much I want to..." A soft sigh, heavy with the weight of all the words the voice would not say. "But we have more to do here."

There was a warmth inside now. It pulled her back into the void but wrapped itself around her so that she didn't have long to mourn the loss of the outside world. 

Andromeda shivered again, felt the aching need pulse once, twice, and then fade away. The world returned to nothingness once more.

"We need to talk about something else. Voldemort is important, he's a means to an end. I know it was hard to let go of your ideals for a bit, but it was for a greater purpose. You can see that, right?"

Her thoughts were slow to follow this new conversation. She still had glimpses of lips, impressions of warmth. Eventually, however, her mind caught up, and Andromeda felt the slow cogs of her thoughts whir contemplatively.

There was something that still felt wrong about any association with Voldemort. It felt oily. Even that one interaction left Andromeda feeling tainted in some way, and the voice seemed to suggest there was more. That she had done more for him. 

She didn't want to believe it.

But the voice was right, wasn't it? Sometimes you had to make hard decisions. You had to choose what to prioritize. Her sisters...

She would have fought for them.

"Good. Very good. That's right. There's another battle you need to let go of in order to win the war, though. A false belief. We can't get to that better future I promised you if you still hold on so tightly. You know what I'm talking about. Who I'm talking about."

Panic spread out of her in a wave. Panic and anger. 

Ted...

The wave crashed against a wall of reassuring warmth.

"Yes. Ted."

Smaller ripples of panic remained.

Not Ted...

"You promised to trust me, Andi. I know it's scary, but you promised to try."

The nothingness around them grew colder, more desolate, but Andromeda didn't lash out again. She had promised to try. She would see what the voice wanted to show her. She would wait.

"Show me when your relationship shifted from friends to something more."

The void began to fill with a rose gold glow. 

Andromeda was scared. 

Ted...

But the glow spread regardless of her fear.

"I'll take care of you," the voice whispered from inside of her. 

Andromeda latched onto that promise and then felt herself being pulled away.

* * *

The halls of Hogwarts would always feel familiar, always a little bit like home. Andromeda reached out a hand to touch the cool stone of the walls as she walked, the texture smoothed over by centuries of curious hands and magic.

The second half of her sixth year was already almost halfway through, and she'd just finished a study session with her group of mixed-house misfits. They used to study in the Great Hall, as it was big enough to accommodate even a large group and had no potential for noise complaints like the library did. However, since both Bellatrix and Narcissa had warned her about her unseemly associations (and since she'd begun having weekly meetings with the 'proper' sort of people), they'd been studying in the Ravenclaw Common room instead. Ravenclaw was the only house that didn't care which house you came from as long as you had brains enough to solve a riddle and didn't bother anyone with their nose in a book.

Andromeda wasn't ready to give up her friends to satisfy the resurgence of pureblood elitism that she had privately signed on for, but she was very much aware that she needed to be smarter about it. No one had yet complained.

Beside her, Ted Tonks was unusually quiet, obviously having something on his mind as they walked towards the dungeons. She chanced a glance at him, noticing as she had earlier the fact that his hair, normally thick and almost wild, had been combed today. His black and yellow striped tie was straight, as well, and his robes looked as if they'd been properly dewrinkled instead of picked up and thrown on in his usual rush out the door. He'd been sneaking glances at her when he'd thought she wasn't looking all afternoon, and Andromeda wasn't sure whether the feeling it inspired in her was anticipation or trepidation.

He was building up to something, but she didn't know what.

She also wasn't ready to be the one to call him out on it. He'd either get up the nerve himself or they'd never have the talk at all.

They were just passing the portrait that hid the secret entrance to the Hogwarts Kitchens when he finally put a hand on her arm and gently tugged them both to a stop. 

Andromeda took a breath, looking up at his nervous but hopeful face. She suddenly had a very good idea about what he was about to ask and she didn't know how to feel about it.

Ted was handsome. She'd known that since last year when he'd come back from the summer having shot up six inches and started running in his spare time. 

He was so nice, too. He always had a kind word for everyone, especially the younger years. He'd be late to a class just because he'd found a lost firstie and had to run them halfway across the castle to make sure that they made it to their own class on time. 

And he was funny. He had such dreadful jokes, but somehow they always made her laugh. He never seemed to run out of them, either, and every time she laughed he got this smile on his face. Like her amusement was the best gift of all.

She had thought about it, once or twice. What it might be like to date him. They'd known each other long enough that she had a pretty good idea that he would be warm and supportive and would always work to keep a smile on her face. He wasn't the smartest boy in their year, but they had fun conversations and he was always willing to explain any curiosity she had about muggle culture. 

Because he was a muggleborn.

A nice, handsome boy, who had no family name to speak of, next to nothing to offer in the way of wealth, and the unenviable position of being worst than dirt in the eyes of her family.

A shiver ran through her.

Once, that might have been a positive. A reason to jump at the chance to see where things might go with him. She would show them. She'd show them that muggleborns weren't lesser, that she could be just fine without any of that pureblood nonsense. 

It didn't hurt to rebel a little. Not when it was for a good cause. 

More than that, he was genuinely a good person who appreciated Andi just for being her.

"Andi, I..." Ted said, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. He gave her a sheepish, endearing smile, a hint of red trailing up his neck towards his ears. "You know, this weekend is a Hogsmeade weekend, and I was thinking, um..."

Andromeda waited. She tried to keep a neutral expression, but something else must have shown on her face because he paused, suddenly even more unsure. He pulled himself together though, determined to at least try.

"I was thinking we could go together. On a date. Because I like you, Andi, a lot, and I don't care about your name or how scary your sister is, and I think..." Ted swallowed, giving her another small smile. "I think you like me too, yeah? So if I like you and you like me, then let me take you out. I promise it'll be a good time."

The look he gave her was so earnest. So sweet. She could imagine the way his face would light up if she said yes. The way he would hold his arms out, offering her a hug, then pick her up and twirl her when she nodded, leading to her laughter echoing down the hall.

She could picture it clearly, so clearly. Like it had already happened.

But he was still waiting patiently for her response. 

And she was not going to say yes. 

Andromeda smiled at him, but softly, apologetically. His face dropped almost immediately and he let out a huff of breath. "Ted, I... I do like you, but..." She hesitated, not sure what exactly to say. She settled for a piece of the truth. "I'm already with someone."

Ted blinked, his face easily betraying his shock. Of all the answers, it was clear he hadn't expected that one. "Wow. Right. I didn't know."

"It's still pretty new," Andromeda said, shifting her books from one hand to the other. "Don't feel bad. You couldn't have known because we're not really telling anyone yet." 

Or ever.

Andromeda bit her lip, a wave of cold uncertainty passing through her.

Ted stood there blinking for a few long seconds before shaking his head. "I waited too long, yeah? That's..." He rubbed the back of his neck again. "That's okay. Do I know him?" Ted immediately shook his head. "I mean, don't tell me if you don't want to. It's still new, you've just said that." He shoved his hand in his robe pocket, not letting her speak before he was rambling again. "Let's just forget I asked, yeah?" He smiled at her. It wasn't a fake smile, not exactly. He was always trying to make everyone around him feel better. It wasn't in his nature to hold the rejection against her. "Still friends?"

"Of course we're still friends," Andromeda said, smiling back at him. "You're a great guy, Ted. Anyone would be lucky to have you."

The laugh he let out was forced, but the smile was still mostly genuine. "Just like your mysterious boyfriend better appreciate you." He nodded, then stepped back. "Right, yeah. I'll get going then. Have a good night, Andi. Thanks for the help with Transfiguration today."

"Goodnight, Ted."

* * *

Andromeda felt heavy as she entered the sixth-year dorms. It was still early, not yet dinnertime, so the room was empty aside from her. She set her books down on her bedside table and then sat on her bed, staring thoughtfully at the floor.

Had she done the right thing?

Well, of course she had. She had promised Bella, they were exclusive. She wasn't going to cheat on her. 

Then why did she feel so strange? 

A few months ago, she would have jumped at Ted's invitation. There would have been a moment of hesitation. A brief one. She would have had to think about what it would mean if her parents found out (not good), but that wouldn't have stopped her for long and she knew it. It would have been worth the risk. He seemed nice, and fun, and so very, very not like her family and all the pureblood boys she'd ever met. He wasn't burdened with the idea that he had to be perfect to be worth anything. He just loved life and wanted to live it.

It was intoxicating to think of a life like that. Free of any expectations other than her own desires. She could do anything, be anyone. 

Be only herself. Andromeda. 

Not Andromeda Black, a daughter of House Black and expected to act like it. Expected to further the line with more pureblood heirs. Expected to take care of the home and let her husband decide everything else. Do everything else. No.

Just Andromeda.

Who would she be, if she could be only herself?

A potions mistress? An herbologist? A mediwitch? There would be no one to tell her that she couldn't work outside the home. She could help people. She could make all of Bella's hurts disappear whenever she did anything particularly reckless, as she still did fairly often.

Bella.

Andromeda felt the weight pressing down harder, sitting on her lungs and forcing her to take a deep, trembling breath or risk suffocating. 

She couldn't be Just Andromeda and still have Bellatrix. Or Narcissa. She knew it in her bones. 

If she left with Ted, she would absolutely be disowned. Bella would never forgive her. She might not care as much about the propaganda (or maybe she did now, but she could work on that, surely), but she wouldn't forgive the betrayal.

Would she leave with her?

Andromeda rubbed her chest, trying to ease the tightness.

No.

No, she couldn't see a way to convince Bella to leave it all behind. 

Not even for her. Not even for Cissy.

Bellatrix was proud of being a Black, despite all the expectations, pomp, and other rubbish that came with it. She took her position as eldest very seriously. They'd talked about running away a few times, back when they were younger, but even then she'd known that it would never really happen. 

The idea hadn't ever stuck for Bella as it had for her.

And now? Bellatrix wouldn't leave the family and Andromeda couldn't see herself leaving Bellatrix. Not to mention Cissy, who might understand her desire to leave but wouldn't forgive her either.

Andromeda closed her eyes. 

Ted represented a dream. A dream of freedom. A dream of rebellion, of living life on her own terms, of not having to be what someone else wanted her to be. She liked him a lot, but more than that, she liked what he represented.

But that dream would mean losing everything she had, despite whatever she'd gain. Maybe when Bellatrix had already seemed to hate her, it would have been easier. If she thought she'd lose her anyway, then what did she have to lose, really? Cissy would be okay, and if she ever needed anything, Andromeda would still welcome her with open arms. 

Now, though? Bellatrix didn't hate her at all, and despite her fear for the direction she was going in, Andromeda couldn't bear the idea of her going that way alone. If she were there, she could talk Bella down from the worst of the influences. They could make it through together. 

They could find a way to have it all. 

Or nearly everything.

Maybe.

Hopefully.

Andromeda wrapped her arms around herself and stared once more at the floor.

* * *

"Andi?"

It hadn't been that long. Ten minutes, maybe, but it felt like so much longer. Andromeda looked up to the doorway. Narcissa was already halfway across the floor, having obviously gathered that Andromeda was not okay.

Andromeda carefully, slowly, unwound herself from the ball she'd folded herself into. She swallowed to remove the lump in her throat. She smiled.

"Cissy, hi," she said. "Did you need something?"

"Andi, what's wrong?" Narcissa sat down next to her, her arm going low across her back as she leaned her head on her shoulder. 

Andromeda resisted the urge to tremble. She resisted the urge to lean into Narcissa as well. Instead, she tried a small laugh. "I'm fine. Just tired. I have an exam soon that I'm nervous about, but I'm sure I'll be... fine."

"Do you need me to get Bella?"

Merlin, she did want Bella. She wanted her to be here, to reassure her that she'd made the right decision. That everything would be worth it.

"No. It's just nerves. Nothing Bella needs to worry about. Or you." Andromeda wrapped an arm around her sister's shoulders and kissed the top of her head. The delicate smell of jasmine soothed her more than she had expected. "Is there anything that you need? Or did you just want to see your favorite sister?"

Narcissa giggled softly, which caused Andromeda to smile genuinely as well. "How do you know Bella isn't my favorite?"

"I'm sure you tell her that," Andromeda teased, "because you're smart and I wouldn't expect anything less. But we both know the truth."

"I can neither confirm nor deny..."

Andromeda's smile widened. "That means I'm right, because otherwise you'd just let me believe what I wanted to believe." She sighed softly, kissing Narcissa's hair again. "I love you, Cissy."

Narcissa tightened her hold, then turned to look up at her. "Are you sure you don't need me to go get Bella?"

"No, no, I'm fine. Actually, what time is it? Should we be getting to the Great Hall?" Andromeda pulled away from Narcissa, straightening up and trying to get herself together. It wasn't as hard as she'd expected it to be. 

"I am hungry, and I was hoping you'd go with me so I didn't have to deal with Lucius and Evan. They're being annoying."

"Little boys jinxing your things to get your attention annoying or boys thinking they've grown up and proposing marriage annoying?" Andromeda stood up, looking down at her wrinkled robes and reaching for her wand to fix it.

Narcissa groaned. "One of them learned a spell that allows them to do origami and they think it's cute to turn all my notes into boats and cranes. As if I wasn't using those!" She huffed. "At least it's not permanent, but of course they can never do these tricks with their own belongings."

Andromeda smiled to herself at Narcissa's outrage. She knew she was the favorite sister because Narcissa was never so open with anyone else, not even Bella. Andromeda was safe for her. Safe to tell anything at all.

Andromeda would always be safe for her. That was a promise she'd made long ago and reaffirmed now. She would always be that safe place for both her sisters. No matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of the comments I received on the last chapter were fantastic. Love to all of you. I still needed a break but I feel revitalized and will do my best to get my ass in the chair and typing away. 
> 
> The informal poll from last chapter suggests that most people want corrupted Andromeda. I hear you. I think there might be a way to have both. Still a long way to go. Send me your thoughts, wishes, and dreams, and maybe they'll find their way into fic.


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